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The Oracle Of Omniscience comes up with a brilliant initiative to assuage the grief of Abbott supporters.

A Good Helping of Greens

A Good Helping of Greens

Friday 16 October, 2015
The Oracle comes up with a breathtakingly brilliant idea to help the Greens finally understand what to do about climate change.
The story starts here...

Dial Triple O for Malcolm the Oracle

“I’m very worried about climate change” said Sarah Hanson Young

“Aren’t we all” sighed Richard di Natale

“But it hasn’t got any hotter for eighteen years” said Sarah “and I’m afraid people will start to lose interest”

“I suppose it would be even more worrying if the earth had warmed up a lot more” said Richard

“On the contrary” responded Sarah “we need people to take action against climate change and that’s very difficult to achieve when nothing’s changing”

“Do you think it’s at all possible that the climate has stopped changing?” asked Richard

“Get a grip Richard” replied Sarah “of course it’s still changing. There’s no way the Great Prophet Bob Brown could have been wrong”

“Tell you what” said Richard “why don’t we Dial Triple O for Malcolm the Oracle of Omniscience, he’ll know what to do”

Malcolm caught the bus to Parliament House the very next day and popped in to see Sarah and Richard.

“Greetings Oracle” said Sarah “we desperately need your help on climate change”

“How perceptive of you” responded Malcolm “Tony needed it too but he wasn’t smart enough to ask for it”

“The question is” said Sarah “how can we persuade people to take action on climate change when the climate’s stayed the same for eighteen years?”

“It’s too easy” replied Malcolm “you simply encourage them by pointing out that the action they’ve been taking for the past eighteen years has obviously worked”

“Oh Oracle” exclaimed Richard “your Omniscience never ceases to astound me, but how then can we persuade them to reduce carbon emissions even more?”

“I’ve conceived a breakthrough state-of-the-art Direct Action ETS” replied Malcolm “If a family is prepared to risk pneumonia or hypothermia by sitting at home all night in the dark freezing their whatsits off the government would reimburse them for all the carbon emissions they’ve saved”

“When I hear inspirational concepts like that” said Sarah “my faith in the future of the planet is restored”

“On the other hand” continued Malcolm “they could gain carbon credits which they could sell to other families at a huge profit and cover all their medical expenses”

“Oracle thank you that’s truly inspirational” said Sarah “Can you spare a bit more time to advise us about asylum seekers?”

“The best advice I can give you” said Malcolm ‘is that Tony’s already fixed all that”


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