The Oracle Of Omniscience comes up with a brilliant initiative to assuage the grief of Abbott supporters.
A GST-Led Recovery
“If we take a GST increase to the next election” said Barnaby Joyce “we could get our arses kicked”
“Even though” said Barnaby “failure to implement drastic measures like a GST increase could result in a financial meltdown it couldn’t possibly hurt the country half as much as another Labor government”
“I know” said George “Labor running the economy would be like the Greens forming a task force to manage the coal industry”
“Raising the GST to 15%” commented Barnaby “would lower our chances of electoral success by at least 50%”
“I’ll tell you what I’ll do” said George “I’ll dial Triple O for Malcolm the Oracle Of Omniscience because he’ll certainly know what to do”
Not fifteen minutes later an air of omniscience peremptorily pervaded the room as Malcolm swept in.
“Now look Malcolm” said Barnaby “even a communist in a coma could see that bold moves are needed to fix the economy but he could also see that if we promise them and Labor just promise to throw money around as usual they’ll win the election”
“It’s time for truly inspirational thinking” said George “of a dimension that only you can deliver”
Sensing the urgent need for intellectual intervention Malcolm immediately switched his omniscience to full power.
“I have the answer” he announced ‘it lies in a GST”
“But Malcolm” said Barnaby ‘the GST’s our problem not our solution”
“My GST inspiration” said Malcolm “is a Goods and Services Tax-back. Every time you purchase a GST item you get fifteen percent taken off rather than added on”
“That sounds interesting Malcolm” said George “but how on earth will that help us resolve the looming economic crisis?”
“Simple” said Malcolm “it will lower prices, boost business, create loads of jobs and we’ll win the election in a landslide”
“That’s absolutely inspirational Malcolm” said Barnaby “but please forgive me because I don’t quite see how this policy will address our shortfall in tax revenue”
“Neither do I as a matter of fact” said Malcolm ‘but remind me after the election and I’ll have another shot at it”