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A Hole Comments

A Job Too Far

A Job Too Far

Friday 13 November, 2015
A Hole, Australia’s most anal social commentator, discusses why only people possessed of self-delusional powers should become prime minister.
The story starts here...

A Hole Comments on FridayMash

Every day I give thanks that I’m not the Prime Minister of Australia and so would the whole nation if they understood what an absolute disaster I would be at it.

Take the economy for example. To keep it healthy it’s imperative to rake in enough revenue from the population and business to pay for all the services they regard as their absolute right but not their responsibility to pay for.

The right side of politics believes that you should reap the standard of living that you sow and fertilise while the left believes that everyone is entitled to enjoy a reasonable standard of living even if it has to be paid for by the sowers and fertilisers.

These views are complicated on the one hand by the sowers’ and fertilisers’ propensity to keep as much of their crops as possible for themselves by reaping them overseas and on the other by the proletariat becoming ever more aggressive in their campaign to get more of something for nothing.

On top of all that there’s the mob in the middle who are desperate to cling on to what they’ve got in the face of perpetual pillaging from both extremes.

None of these perspectives is entirely without merit and it is the Prime Minister’s task to respond with a finely balanced policy which attracts universal approbation.

This of course is an absolute impossibility. Whatever the response it will inevitably spark an abundance of abuse from the discontented.

While anyone with even the minimum requirement in brain activity levels can recognise the need for sound management of the nation’s economy the only people who take it seriously are the Prime Minister, the Treasurer and such members of their party who feel able to do so without jeopardising their seats.

The opposition invariably rate the concept of infinitely lower priority than their overspending policies, the media’s interest is focusing on increasing their readership and ratings and of course it is the given right of anyone who doesn’t luxuriate in government largesse to bag it mercilessly.

It’s becoming increasingly impossible for any prime minister to implement a responsible economic policy without becoming a political pariah.

Prime Ministers however are consumed by the conviction that they can change the world. And after they’ve been dumped for failing they can enjoy the satisfaction of writing books claiming that actually they succeeded.

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About this Series
As one of Australia’s leading social commentators A Hole is always conscious of the need to avoid making an arse of himself. His commentaries are frequently compared to the material on the walls of public toilets although they don’t remain in the public consciousness anything like as long.

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