Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

The Oracle Of Omniscience comes up with a brilliant initiative to assuage the grief of Abbott supporters.

A Word To The Wise

A Word To The Wise

Friday 15 July, 2016
Julie and Scott invite Malcolm to consider how someone so wise could make such a pig’s ear of the election campaign.
The story starts here...

Dial Triple O for Malcolm the Oracle

“What a complete and utter stuff-up” remarked Julie

“I blame Malcolm” said Scott

“So do I” concurred Julie “you’d have thought someone so Omniscient would have the brains to run a better campaign than that”

“It’s not as though he had a lot of competition” opined Scott “If you can’t beat a union eunuch like Bill you should give it away and give Tony another go”

“He pulled on the double dissolution” asserted Julie “to punt the independents in the Senate who wouldn’t pass the ABC legislation but now the Senate is even better equipped than before to star in a new Channel 9 series of The Block and there’s as much chance of restoring the ABCC as re-appointing Bronnie as Speaker

“What the hell are we going to do?” asked Scott

“Well in this case I can hardly recommend dialling Triple O for Malcolm the Oracle of Omniscience” replied Julie “because he’s more the problem than the solution”

“Let’s call him anyway” said Scott “because we need to know why he’s not the know-all that he used to be”

Not half an hour later Malcolm breezed into the room.

“We’ve won” he cried “isn’t it great”

“Look Malcolm” said Julie sternly “we want to know why you ran such a crappy campaign that wasn’t the least bit Omniscient and lost us a pile of seats”

“Just a moment” said Malcolm “I’m just switching my Omniscience onto full power and should have the answer in just…”

“Hold it Malcolm” interrupted Scott “your Omniscience has become obsolescent. Just tell us what went wrong”

“The trouble was” explained Malcolm “my Omniscience which as you know is usually so infallible was convinced that it would be impossible for an ex-union official promising to run the country like a union based on instructions from the ACTU and become the sixth Australian Prime Minister in six years to actually have the slightest chance of defeating our greatest Prime Minister since Tony Abbott and possibly John Howard

“That sounds reasonable” said Julie “so where did your Omniscience let you down?”

“Whilst it completely understood that I wasn’t at all the sort of PM who would privatise Medicare” confirmed Malcolm “it didn’t take into account that I’d been forced to take on so many of Tony’s policies and so forgot to warn me that they had included a Medicare co-payment”


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