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Indiana Joe Crusades

Achieving Budget Equality

Achieving Budget Equality

Friday 19 June, 2015
Tony persuades Joe to come out in support of the budget.
The story starts here...

Indiana Joe and the Raiders of the Lost Budget Surplus

“Look Joe” said Tony “I’ve got to take steps to fix the housing crisis”

“My advice to you” said Joe “is get a job with a decent salary then go and talk to your bank manager”

“That was the braindead advice” said Tony “which caused the housing crisis in the first place. Now we’ve got to ensure your budget gets a hassle-free passage through the Senate”

“The Raiders in the Senate are restless” said Joe

“Don’t worry” said Tony “I’ve got an absolutely ingenious plan to get the Greens on-side. You’ll have to come out”

“How do you mean?” asked Joe

“You know” replied Tony “become a switch-hitter”

“You want me to come to become a gay Treasurer” gasped Joe “you can’t be serious”

“Just think about it” said Tony “you’d be such a hero amongst the Greens they’d fall over themselves to pass your budget”

“But what would my wife think?” asked Joe

“Look it’s not going to be a problem” replied Tony “you simply refuse all offers of gay dates and dirty weekends and as soon as the Greens pass the budget you can revert to your lovable old hetero self again”

“But after I revert” said Joe “the Greens will realise they been hoodwinked and demand I come back out”

“I know” said Tony “what an absolute hoot. Sarah Hanson Young will throw the biggest wobbler since I refused to let her make a cruise booking on Operation Sovereign Borders”

“It would mean I’d have to support gay marriage” said Joe

“Of course it wouldn’t” said Tony “you’d be able to speak from experience and claim that you gave the gay thing a fair go but preferred it back inside ”

“If this ploy is successful” said Joe “how do I know you won’t make me undergo a complete sex-change next time?”

“Because I’ve already considered it” replied Tony “and decided that as a woman you’d be a bigger turn-off than the real Julia”

“How exactly would I come out?” asked Joe

“Well I was thinking” said Tony “you should do it on a special episode of the Reno Rumble. It would be the most sensational reveal ever”

“Look I have to be honest” said Joe “I’m not at all happy about this. Sure I’m keen to get the budget passed but I’d prefer to have a first shot at it while staying in”

“Look at it this way” said Tony “if the temporary gay persona puts your wife off you permanently there’s a good chance gay marriage will soon be a legal option”

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About this Series
Joe has dedicated himself to finding the Holy Grail of the Lost Surplus despite the resolute efforts of Raiders to thwart him. His crusade to get his budget through the Senate is blocked by rampant Raiders like Bill, Christine and Clive but Joe will find a way even if it means doctors making co-payments to patients.

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