Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

Bill Backs a 15% GST

Bill Backs a 15% GST

Friday 19 February, 2016
Fred Plodge, Australia’s premier public bar pundit on politics, discusses whether Bill has hit on a brilliant new tactic against Malcolm without having to go through the agony of trying to come up with an idea.
The story starts here...

Pubs around here are awash with spillage and speculation about Bill’s innovative anti-Malcolm tactic.

All Malcolm did was announce a tax review. Bill reacted by warning that an increase in the GST to 15% would be a doomsday scenario and so created for himself the potential for a conquering hero tour of Australia on a claim of deterring Malcolm from doing the dirty.

This was an ingenious tactic because a GST increase would almost certainly be about as popular as the carbon tax and Bill’s bob each way was certain to produce a winner.

There seems absolutely no doubt that Bill will be encouraged to apply this tactic to other critical issues.

Expect any day now a warning that Malcolm is covertly planning to bring back Work Choices. Just imagine the rapturous reception Bill could get as the Saviour of the ACTU when it turns out that Malcolm has no intention of doing anything quite so politically suicidal.

Then Bill could really get on a roll. There is no question he’ll claim that if re-elected the Coalition would bring back Tony as PM and if he’s credited with preventing that happening there’s no limit to what a grateful nation might bestow.

Co-payments are certain to get another good airing. The general opinion is that Bill will forecast a policy from Malcolm to allow surgeons to halt operations halfway through and demand a $50 co-payment as a prerequisite to finishing the job.

The full political potential of this tactic is mind-blowing. Bill could even allege that the secret of Trump’s success is that he’s a closet disciple of Barnaby Joyce and now there’s a grave danger that he could affect Malcolm the same way.

This tactic however is not a one way street. Malcolm could retaliate by asserting that if Bill became Prime Minister the real power in Australia would devolve to the CFMEU who would extend weekend penalty rates to Monday through Friday and launch a Royal Commission into anybody earning above two hundred thousand a year.

Just think of the kudos flowing to Malcolm if he was seen to save us from a fate as dire as all that and Bill Shorten as well.


About this Series
Fred Plodge is widely acclaimed as Australia’s premier pub commentator on politics and international affairs. Pub patrons throughout Sydney look to Fred as their most unfailingly reliable source of current affairs commentary. Fred’s insight seems to reach full potential after around six schooners and this has led to a feeling amongst patrons that by comparison the commentary from most politicians falls a few schooners short.

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