Christmas Messages of Goodwill for Tony
From George Pell – Sorry I can’t be with you this Christmas but I had to get out of
In the Vatican the country before your Royal Commission into child abuse caught up with me again.
Julie Bishop – A very happy Christmas. Sorry I’m unable to deliver the message personally but Peta has barred me from seeing you until 2015.
Bill Shorten – Merry Christmas. Please let me know where I can send you a card next year because it obviously won’t be the Lodge.
Jacquie Lambie – Seasons greetings. If you agree to talk about the armed forces pay increase I’m ready to dish the dirt on Clive
Vladimir Putin – Merry Christmas from Moscow. I don’t know how you can live in that crazy country where the vodka tastes like rat’s piss and the people think I spend all my time firing rocket-launchers in Eastern Ukraine.
Sarah Hanson Young – I wish you a Manus Island Christmas and a Nauru New Year.
Clive Palmer – Have a makeover Christmas and remember the only thing that can save your government is appointing me Minister of Mining.
Joe Hockey – My best wishes for Christmas. Sorry I won’t be able to do my usual turn at your Christmas Party but I find it impossible to reconcile the roles of Treasurer and Father Christmas.
Mark Scott – On behalf of Tony Jones, Emma Alberici, Leigh Sales and myself a very cordial Christmas and we promise to give you fair and balanced overage next year in the spirit of your promise not to cut our funding.
Bronwyn Bishop – Merry Christmas son.