Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

Coal-Fired Coalition

Coal-Fired Coalition

Friday 28 July, 2017
In this latest edition of her occasional series about life at the very epicentre of power Lucy explains that following Malcolm’s impersonation of Trump at the Parliament House Dinner she persuaded him not to give up his day job.
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In this latest edition of her occasional series about life at the very epicentre of power Lucy explains that following Malcolm’s impersonation of Trump at the Parliament House Dinner she persuaded him not to give up his day job.

 “Tell me honestly Luce dearest” demanded Malcolm at high tea“what did you think of my Trump impersonation?”

“Well I must say” I responded “it was much more convincing than Tony’s impersonation of a Prime Minister and it certainly deserved to be leaked by Laurie Oakes. He didn’t accord the same treatment to Shorten’s speech because it would have been much more of a turn-off than a leak”

“My visit to Trump” explained Malcolm “proved very useful for picking up his mannerisms and they’ll come in very useful the next time I talk to Tony”

“I must say” I ventured “that I’m absolutely consumed about what action you’re going to take on power supplies especially as the Left seems incapable of grasping that on cloudy windless days solar and wind power are neither renewable nor sustainable”

“I know” concurred Malcolm “but on the other hand I’m far too much of an ETS devotee to go down the mine with Tony. It’s true that low emission coal could be the answer for the next decade or so but I’m certainly not ready to shove solar up the place where the sun don’t shine just to take advantage of the intermittent wind”

“Gonski 2 was a landmark triumph” I opined

“Gonski 3 will be even better” announced Malcolm “Latest studies are indicating that the best place for kids to be educated is at home and schools will soon become redundant. So I plan to introduce legislation that will make it compulsory for all parents to qualify as teachers. We’ll save billions from the education budget and we won’t have to cop all that ongoing nonsense from the teachers’ union”

“What do you think that Tony is trying to achieve?” I asked earnestly

“If heaven help us Bill Shorten ever became PM” explained Malcolm “Tony is positioning himself to immediately become Opposition Leader. There’s no question that while he should never again be allowed within the Prime Ministerial portals of The Lodge he is unquestionably the best Opposition Leader in the country’s history. In the face of Tony’s opposition Bill would last all of three weeks as Prime Minister. Of course if we then got back into power he’d be immediately stabbed and sent to the backbench”

“Wouldn’t that be the height of ingratitude?” I queried

“Good heavens no” responded Malcolm “every dog has his day but it’s the ultimate kindness to recognise when they should be put down”

 

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About this Series
An occasional series featuring the First Lady’s account of her contributions to her husband’s political career and the fate of the nation.

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