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The Pudding Club Pontifications

Coming Out of the EU Closet

Coming Out of the EU Closet

Friday 1 July, 2016
Pudding Club members consider whether Britain’s bale-out will do the EU more damage than all the other bailouts it’s had to endure.
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The Pudding Club section Friday Mash.com

Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera marked Britain’s decision to Brexit with a luncheon consisting entirely of a Magnum of Winston Churchill Pol Roger.

“I say” said His Lordship ‘It’s all rather disconcerting”

“On the contrary” insisted the General “it’s the greatest thing to happen to the UK since Maggie sent the Argies packing from the Falklands”

“I must say” said Sir Rah “that the prospect of Boris taking us back to the future conjures visions of us being buried in the past”

“Nonsense” scoffed the General “I’m proud to stand with Boris and Nigel in their crusade to remove Britain from that bureaucratic bugger’s muddle in Brussels and place its destiny instead in the hands of pre-eminent patriots like ourselves”

“But I had cocktails with Angela Merkel last month” protested Sir Rah “and pledged my support to Remain”

“Yes I must admit” confessed His Lordship “that I pledged my support to David because I didn’t want to be seen leaving anywhere with Boris”

“The hour has come” pronounced the General “to take Britain to an entirely new dimension away from the continent of discontent”

“Does this mean” enquired Sir Rah “that you will be Brexiting sexual relations with that ultimate symbol of sensuosity located near the Sorbonne?”

“Good Lord no” exclaimed the General “I’m still President of Sex Without Borders. Having to show my passport on my way to reach absolute international accord with that vision of loveliness would be but a minor irritation”

“So what immediate actions should Britain take” asked Sir Rah “following the historic decision to Brexit?”

“I’m preparing to despatch regiments to Gibraltar and the Falklands to shore up the Empire” explained the General “and I shall be contacting Nicola Sturgeon shortly to threaten military takeover of the Scottish Assembly if she doesn’t start pulling her head in”

“Who do you think will take over from David as PM?” asked Sir Rah

“Heaven help us if it’s Boris” remarked His Lordship “I think I’ll probably support Theresa”

“What about Nigel?” asked the General “I know he didn’t go to Eton but there again neither did Maggie”

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About this Series
Located on the fashionable side of Pall Mall the Club is famous for counting some of the UK’s greatest political intellects among its members. Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera convene there regularly to create the brilliant insights which David relies on so much to keep the ship of state on course.

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