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A Hole Comments

CROC Around The Clock

CROC Around The Clock

Friday 1 May, 2015
A Hole, Australia’s leading social commentator, comes up with the revolutionary idea that politicians should maintain a high standard of job performance even during non-election periods.
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A Hole Comments on FridayMash

I found it fascinating that there is an Inspector who oversees the operation of the ICAC. Surely that’s exactly the sort of arrangement we need for governments.

It seems to happen all too often these days that soon after a government is voted into office the electorate realise they’ve made a cataclysmic mistake and find to their horror they’re stuck with a no-hoper for years.

Some parliamentary candidates are brilliant at presenting themselves as the best thing since Paul Keating during an election then later proving to be the worst thing since Kevin.

The electorate have every right to feel outraged at being so monstrously misled but their options for seeking redress are limited.

They can take to the streets, train a team of faceless men, fulminate on talkback radio but decisive action like bombing Parliament House is only acceptable in Middle-East democracies.

There needs to be something like a Council of Responsible Ordinary Citizens (CROC) to maintain a constant vigil over parliamentary performance on behalf the people. They would be responsible for holding parliamentarians to account during non-election periods ensuring they keep election promises, don’t go on too many overseas junkets and remember to visit their electorates even when they’re not desperate for votes.

I don’t want to give the impression this body would be an absolute CROC, but rather a delegation appointed by the community to look after their interests and ensure that the country isn’t run into the ground by a bunch of plonker politicians who give every indication of completely stuffing the country before it’s time to chuck them out at the next election.

Members of CROC would serve for six months only to prevent delusions of grandeur. They would have the power to fire non-performing prime ministers, premiers or parliaments but only when there’s a clear and present danger of the country or state going bust, being taken over by the banks or sold off to people smugglers. CROC’s more usual approach would be warning letters, water-boarding or in really desperate situations an appeal to common sense.

Unless we take this sort of decisive action we’re simply not going to get the politicians we deserve. The gutting experience of having to suffer a palpable plonker as PM can make the electorate so desperate to get rid of him or her they’re even susceptible to voting in another dose of the same.

I’d be very happy to serve as an inaugural member of the new body. It is tailor-made for the talents of an old CROC like me.

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About this Series
As one of Australia’s leading social commentators A Hole is always conscious of the need to avoid making an arse of himself. His commentaries are frequently compared to the material on the walls of public toilets although they don’t remain in the public consciousness anything like as long.

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