Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

Current Matters

Current Matters

Friday 6 May, 2016
Ged and Dave indicate to Bill that they’d like to see his carbon pricing policy go up in smoke.
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The ACTU Our Brother Bills Keeper heading

“Look Bill” said Ged “we’re just not sure about your carbon pricing policy”

“I’m absolutely committed” said Bill “to pricing carbon, renewing renewables, saving the Barrier Reef and doing everything Malcolm used to advocate before he got burned by the bushfires in the Coalition”

“Hold on a minute” said Ged authoritatively “if you’re proposing to reduce carbon emissions by 45% by 2030 the price of electricity will go up faster than the price of cigarettes”

“There may be some upward adjustment required” admitted Bill “but you can trust me to offset that through entitlements for working families”

“Like hell we can” opined Dave “it’s a question of who will be running the country if you become PM and you seem to have lost focus that it will be us”

“What you have to understand” explained Bill “is that as PM I’d have to meet the greatest moral challenge of our generation while avoiding being stabbed by someone like me”

“Bill let’s be absolutely clear about this” said Ged firmly “Julia managed to morph carbon pricing into a stick with which Malcolm will flog the Labor Party mercilessly during the election campaign if you so much as indicate there’s even the chance of a remote possibility you might consider even a buy-now-pay-later option for carbon. It would be like the anti-Howard Work Choices campaign on steroids”

“And furthermore” said Dave “Malcolm will be offering tax cuts, thousands of ship-building jobs and the certainty that Abbott will never come back as PM while all you’re offering is higher electricity prices and banks that will be more pissed off and unco-operative than ever”

“Ok then” said Bill “what do you recommend?”

“First and foremost” said Ged “you’ve got to claim that Malcolm’s tax cuts which come into effect the day before the election will be canned the day after just like Julia’s promise about no carbon tax. Then you’ve got to promise that your carbon pricing policy won’t result in a cent being added to the price of electricity”

“I can’t do that” protested Bill “because it’s just not the truth”

“But that’s not the point” said Dave ‘we’re only talking election promises here  and surely people aren’t still stupid enough to believe you can rely on them any more than the Christmas fairy”



About this Series
This series reveals the nature of the special relationship between the ACTU and Bill and in the event of him becoming Prime Minister how much power they’d be prepared to delegate to him.

View all articles in the The ACTU Our Brother Bills Keeper Series
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