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Buzz from Fly on the Wall

Cut Price Emissions

Cut Price Emissions

Friday 23 January, 2015
This is the latest communique from Guy the Friday Mash Superfly after he’d been on a wall in Christine Milne’s office when Adam Bandt and Sarah Hanson Young came in to discuss the Greens’ policies for 2015.
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Guy the FridayMash Superfly

‘Isn’t it great’ said Adam ‘that petrol is so cheap’

‘What the hell are you talking about?’ cried Christine ‘don’t you realise that means we’re all paying a terrible price through the extra carbon emissions?’

‘I was just happy for working families’ said Adam

‘Those poor wretched people’ said Christine ‘will soon be engulfed by disasters like rising sea levels, raging bushfires and more forecasts of doom from Tim Flannery’

‘I’m confused’ said Sarah ‘didn’t you oppose Abbott’s proposal to raise petrol prices through the fuel excise?’

‘That was because I’m committed to opposing everything Abbott proposes’ replied Christine ‘short of closing down the coal industry or wearing less revolting beach togs’

‘I’m excited about the wars in the Middle East’ said Sarah ‘because they have the potential to generate so many asylum seekers that Operation Sovereign Borders will be powerless to stop them’

‘I’m really excited about the Climate Change Conference in Paris’ said Christine ‘because that’s going to put pressure on Abbott to stop treating climate change like a nuisance issue at the Weather Bureau’

‘Christine’ said Adam ‘I really do feel we’ve got to be realistic about the chances of an ETS in Australia. There’s absolutely no chance of the US or China introducing one, the ETS in the EU may soon have to be cancelled because their carbon credits are becoming debits and so there’s buckleys of Clive supporting one here. Bill won’t support one either because that rules out any chance of him winning the next election so our best hope is Abbott and it doesn’t get any more desperate than that’

‘This country’s going to the dogs’ said Christine ‘petrol prices are down, electricity prices are down and there’s no carbon tax’

‘And Abbott’s policy’ said Sarah ‘is to tackle Climate Change by hosing down everything from the back of a Rural Fire Services truck. Oh Christine what are we going to do?’

‘We must get activists out in the streets’ replied Christine ‘protesting against lower petrol prices and the hot sunny beach weather’

‘Great idea’ said Sarah ‘and I could do an asylum seeker protest swim from Indonesia to Christmas Island’

‘Well’ said Adam ‘that’s probably safer than doing the trip in a people smuggler boat’

‘I’m planning to go to the Climate Change Conference’ said Christine ‘and bare my soul to save the planet’

‘For heaven’s sake don’t bare your body’ said Adam ‘because then it would be impossible to save the conference’

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About this Series
Having stuck with a fly paper for many years Guy has become a celebrated political reporter through his unique ability to locate himself on the walls the prominent and powerful and listen in to their conversations. He is always careful to take with him a fly-spray early warning detector.

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