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Deconstructing The ABCC

Deconstructing The ABCC

Friday 2 December, 2016
Bill, Ged and Dave discuss ways of preventing the ABCC legislation passing in the Senate including a campaign to force more Senators to become union members.
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“Now look here Bill” said Ged during his weekly indoctrination session “we’ve got to stop the ABCC in the Senate even if it kills you”

“I’m doing my best” responded Bill “but some of the independents are so utterly incapable of rational thought that they’re listening to Malcolm rather than me”

“That’s outrageous” expostulated Dave “don’t they realise the damage that the ABCC could do to the sensitivities of our CFMEU brothers?”

“I’m only too well aware of that” Bill reassured him “It would be an absolute tragedy if the CFMEU was forced to operate like a normal union”

“You’re so right Bill” said Ged approvingly “they are exposed on a daily basis to the ravages of unscrupulous employers who treat them like illegal immigrants from Mexico are treated by Trump”

“The introduction of the ABCC” claimed Dave “would strip them of their rights to use legitimate bargaining tactics like thuggery, sexism and threatening phone calls”

“And there are so many CFMEU officials spending so much time before the courts” said Ged “they don’t have time to appear before a Commission as well”

“Malcolm is making lots of noise” commented Bill “about unreasonable CFMEU demands driving up building costs”

“It’s an absolute outrage” asserted Dave “that even when the CFMEU is successful in driving up building costs the bosses pocket some of the extra profit”

“Please understand Bill” said Ged “this is a major industrial relations crisis and it’s got to be fixed”

“Well” responded Bill thoughtfully “I could have a word with Jacqui and Derryn Hinch”

“That’s no bloody good” cried Dave “it’s time for drastic measures like locking Senators in the loo so they miss the vote or spiriting Pauline away to Manus Island”

“Hey hang on a minute” protested Bill “that’s unethical”

“Well it’s certainly not ethical to vote for the ABCC” pronounced Dave “and if necessary I’m even ready to reactivate the faceless men”

“Surely” said Bill trying to be the cooler head that prevails “there’s a more politically correct way to prevent the ABCC happening. How about we suggest to the CFMEU that they agree to adopt world best industrial relations practice including an attitude of mutual respect in negotiations with the building bosses?”

“Are you kidding?” yelled Dave “that would be like persuadinging Dave Warner to open the batting without a bat”

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About this Series
This series reveals the nature of the special relationship between the ACTU and Bill and in the event of him becoming Prime Minister how much power they’d be prepared to delegate to him.

View all articles in the The ACTU Our Brother Bills Keeper Series
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