Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

Indiana Joe Crusades

Desperately Seeking Job Security

Desperately Seeking Job Security

Friday 13 February, 2015
The choices faced by Tony and Joe - if they don’t change they’ll get kicked out & if they do they’ll get kicked out for pretending to be somebody else.
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Indiana Joe Hockey Crusades

‘So how do you think Tony’s going to recover from his current shithouse standings?’ asked Joe

‘Well one thing he could do’ replied Miss Triss ‘is fire you and put Malcolm in the job’

Joe’s chief of staff had a reputation for being even more aggro than Peta Credlin.

‘He wouldn’t do that’ said Joe ‘because I’m his best mate and the only person in government truly focused on finding the Holy Grail of the Lost Surplus’

‘Even if that’s true’ said Miss Triss ‘he’d dump your arse faster than Julia’s book which he’d picked up by mistake if it meant holding on to the PMship’

‘Not Tony’ said Joe ‘he’s very loyal to old mates like Peter Slipper and me’

‘Oh by the way’ said Miss Triss ‘he wants to see you’

‘I expect he wants to celebrate his win in the spill motion’ said Joe

‘Look here Joe’ said Tony when he fronted ‘I’m chastened, very chastened. I can’t believe that thirty-nine members of my own party think I’m such a prime ministerial plonker that I should be rissolled’

‘Well of course’ said Joe ‘you have my full support and I’m ready to do anything to help your poll numbers go up’

‘Well’ said Tony ‘that could mean anything from resigning or being fired to producing a decent budget for a change’

‘That’s so unfair’ said Joe ‘after all the work I’ve done to find the Lost Surplus’

‘But nobody gives a rat’s arse about that at the moment’ said Tony ‘Australians aren’t ready to pay the unfair cost of recovering the Surplus while the Greeks, Italians and Spanish enjoy more prosperity while they wallow in debt and deficit’

‘But if we don’t continue to seek out the Holy Grail of the Lost Surplus’ said Joe ‘we shall become economic eunuchs indistinguishable from the Labor Party’

‘Look Joe’ said Tony ‘if I don’t undergo a complete metamorphosis I’ll be dumped in the non-recycling bin of history alongside Kevin and Julia. And that means you’ve got to undergo one as well

‘But what will I become’ asked Joe

‘Either a lot more like Malcolm’ said Tony ‘or a backbencher’

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About this Series
Joe has dedicated himself to finding the Holy Grail of the Lost Surplus despite the resolute efforts of Raiders to thwart him. His crusade to get his budget through the Senate is blocked by rampant Raiders like Bill, Christine and Clive but Joe will find a way even if it means doctors making co-payments to patients.

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