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Dick Head Interviews

The Dick Head Interview with Pultha Woolova

The Dick Head Interview with Pultha Woolova

Friday 24 October, 2014
In this fascinating skyped interview with Pultha Woolova, chief political correspondent of Pravda, Dick Head explores Putin's current policies on enforcing Malaysian Airlines safety standards, annexing other countries and his view on the role of shirt-fronting in international diplomacy.
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Dick Head Reports on FridayMash

Putin on the Style in Australia

‘Hi Pultha’ said Dick ‘greetings from Australia’

‘Let’s see’ said Woolova ‘that’s the place just north of the Antarctic that’s become a colony of the US’

‘What’s been the reaction in Moscow’ asked Dick ‘to our prime minister’s threat to shirt-front Putin?’

‘Most Russians don’t give a stuff’ rplied Woolova ‘because they’ve never heard of Australia or shirt-fronting but they know your prime minister is an absolute arsehole apparatchik of US imperialism because we’ve told them so in Pravda’

‘Is there much interest locally’ asked Dick ‘in Putin’s upcoming trip to Australia to attend the G20?’

‘There is some concern’ replied Woolova ‘about whether our President will be given sufficient protection from insurgent groups like Collingwood Supporters and the Jacqui Lambie Fan Club’

‘You must realise’ said Dick ‘ that Australia is outraged by the revelation that MH17 was shot down by a Russian missile fired by Russian separatists’

‘Then they should read the official report in Pravda’ said Woolova ‘After our thorough investigation carried out in cooperation with the Russian Government it became abundantly clear that the whole thing was a joint operation between the CIA and Singapore Airlines which was cunningly designed to frame Russia for a diabolical plot to steal business from Malaysian Airlines’

‘Do you think Putin in concerned about getting a hostile reception in Australia?’ asked Dick

‘Not in the least’ replied Woolova ‘Australians should be honoured that the President of the world’s fifth biggest economy is deigning to travel to the arse-end of the world to fart around for a day or two at the G20’

‘Have the trade sanctions imposed on Russia’ asked Dick ‘had a material effect on your economy?’

‘Not really’ replied Wolova ‘ because great suffering is endemic to the Russian way of life. Everybody is so hammered on vodka that a bit more suffering hardly registers’

‘What do you think Putin will be hoping out get out of the G20 meeting?’ asked Dick

‘Well first and foremost an apology for all the sanctions they’ve imposed’ replied Woolova ‘then a note of thanks for all he’s done to achieve a peaceful settlement in Ukraine and a shirt he can wear back to front just to confuse Tony Abbott’

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About this Series
Dick’s outstanding career in political journalism owes much to recent advances in psychiatric treatment. In his role as a leading Canberra correspondent Dick enjoys an especially close rapport with all the leading politicians and the loony left because he’s met them all at the treatment centre.

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