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Dick Head Interviews

The Dick Head Special Report on the G20

The Dick Head Special Report on the G20

Friday 21 November, 2014
People who are still confused about what the G20 was all about will be reassured by this compelling article which discusses whether it marked the start of a new world economic order or a renaissance in Gold Coast packaged holidays.
The story starts here...

Dick Head Reports on FridayMash

Dick Head Special Report

 

The G20 got off to a shaky start when Barack Obama seemed to be under the impression it was a climate change conference. This could have been because he received an up-dated agenda from Christine Milne.

There were further climate concerns expressed by other delegates but these were assuaged by adjustments to the air-conditioning system.

It is difficult to understand why Christine was so buoyed by the announcement that China will increase its carbon emissions for the next sixteen years. If Tony had announced a similar policy for Australia she’d have lapsed into uncontrollable shrieking.

The Indian prime minister arrived in Brisbane motivated to support his country in any possible way so he was directed to the Gabba.

Delegates who were eager to witness shirt-fronting were sent to the Brisbane Lions training ground.

Not only was the Islamic State not invited to the G20 but 6000 policemen were drafted in to ensure they didn’t gate-crash it.

Tony performed so well at the G20 that there were fears he could be named as the World’s Greatest Prime Minister and forever be condemned to a place alongside Wayne in the Global Hall of Political Fame. However last minute negotiations averted that potential embarrassment.

His minders are now confident that he will never find himself in the position where his only chance of transient adulation is speaking to left-wing students overseas about climate change

The decision to allow Putin to come to the event was undoubtedly correct. The delegates spent so much time criticising him they didn’t have the energy to criticise anything else.

In the wash-up to the G20 it is apparent Tony has a much better chance of leading an incremental 2.1% increase in economic growth across the world than a budget surplus at home. This is because Clive hasn’t succeeded in gaining a global balance of power to compare with the one he’s acquired in Australia.

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About this Series
Dick’s outstanding career in political journalism owes much to recent advances in psychiatric treatment. In his role as a leading Canberra correspondent Dick enjoys an especially close rapport with all the leading politicians and the loony left because he’s met them all at the treatment centre.

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