Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

Draining The Swamp with Donald

Draining The Swamp with Donald

Friday 27 January, 2017
On day one of his Presidency Trump assembled his inner circle to activatea dramatic initiative calculated to upset as many people as possible.
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On day one of his Presidency Trump assembled his inner circle to activatea dramatic initiative calculated to upset as many people as possible.

 “It’s day one of my Presidency” announced Trump “and I’m determined to do something so outrageous it will live in the memory much longer thanObama’s policies. I intend to sign executive orders that immediately sanction sending illegals south, banning entry for Muslims and scrapping Obamacare”

“Don’t forget wiping out Islamic State” Reince reminded him

“Oh yes” agreed Trump “that too. What do you think Mad Dog?”

“Woof, woof” responded Mad Dog enthusiastically “woof, woof, woof”

“Dad we urgently need a new law” pointed out Ivanka “that prevents anyone suing you”

“Great idea” decided Trump “especially as half the women in America are considering bringing a class action against me for having lewd thoughts about them”

“The problem with banning Muslims” pointed out Reince “is that it would prevent Rex inviting his oil buddies over to sheikh them down for a few billion”

“Well surely” said Trump thoughtfully “there’s nothing to stop us trucking illegal Hispanics over the border starting from this afternoon”

“It will take us a month or two to sort the illegals from the legals” explained Ivanka “If we expel legals by mistake the whole country would be on tenterhooks wondering if they’re going to be next”

“So for now” announced Trump “I’ll just draw a line through Obamacare”

“I think it would be prudent” cautioned Reince “to do a bit more preparation before taking that step in order to avoid having to place the national health insurance system on life support”

“So what the hell can I do?” demanded Trump

“You could announce the cancellation of the nuclear deal with Iran” suggested Steve

“That’s interesting” commented Trump “how would you suggest I do that?”

“By nuking Tehran” replied Steve

“You could recommend Putin for the Nobel Peace Prize” suggested Reince

“You could sign executive orders” confirmed Ivanka “assigning Bernie Sanders to an aged care facility and allowing Chelsea Manning to go and set up a WikileaksCenter with Julian Assange at the Ecuadorian Embassy in London”

“You could take action” advised Reince “which would ensure the economy doesn’t become a complete dog’s breakfast”

“Woof, woof” barked Mad Dog enthusiastically “woof”

“I know” said Trump decisively “I’ll go and direct a drone attack on CNN”


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