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A Hole Comments

Drunk with Power in Victoria

Drunk with Power in Victoria

Friday 12 December, 2014
While it is utterly unreasonable to expect the public to take a sober view of politics in Victoria, A Hole discusses whether the same standard should be applied to politicians.
The story starts here...

A Hole Comments on FridayMash
I hear that the new Labor Government in Victoria is promising to breath-test politicians. Certainly the politician who came up with the policy should have been breath-tested at the time.

I have the distinct impression however that people prefer their politicians to be alcoholically activated. In a job as frenetic as that it’s surely unreasonable to expect them to get through the day without a few stiffeners.

The application of breath testing in parliament would be relatively easy in view of the high number of blowhards there. Politicians who fail the test would almost certainly be instantly suspended and have to catch the bus home especially if the standard was set at below point 50. If the testing was carried out by police a spell in the local station lock-up may have to apply.

If this idea caught on would world leaders like Obama and Xi be breath-tested before they addressed the Australian Parliament or would they be subject to diplomatic immunity?

It’s highly possible that politicians break so many promises because they are hammered at the time of making them and subsequently forget all about them when they’re sober.

Leading pop stars have frequently confessed to recording their greatest hits when they are stoned or paralytic so why should politicians be any different?

If all Victorian politicians were forced by the threat of breath-testing to become models of sobriety it is extremely doubtful whether there would be a rise in the quality of legislation which compensates adequately for the drop in takings at the member’s bar.

The most likely outcome of the politician breath-testing policy is counselling for the person responsible and another broken promise. Not even members of the opposition are likely to criticise the government for that.

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About this Series
As one of Australia’s leading social commentators A Hole is always conscious of the need to avoid making an arse of himself. His commentaries are frequently compared to the material on the walls of public toilets although they don’t remain in the public consciousness anything like as long.

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