Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

Yaps from Bo and Big O

Ducking For Cover

Ducking For Cover

Friday 12 December, 2014
Barack Obama discusses with Bo the prospect of ending his presidency with a bang rather than a whimper by blowing up Hillary Clinton.
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Barack Obama and his best bud BoYap No 96

‘I see Chuck’s handed in his notice’ I said

‘I know’ said Big O ‘I’m really pissed about it. The problem was that as an ex-Republican he wanted to crush ISIL whilst I believed we should only kill enough of them to make the point that we’re a peace loving nation’

‘But you’ve just lost Eric Holder as well’ I said

‘Working for me’ said Big O ‘is a pretty tough gig’

‘Tell me about it’ I said ‘Let’s face it Big O I’m the only aide you can count on for the long haul because other employment options for a talking dog are limited to a freak show or animal welfare advocacy. On the other hand if we formed a double act as a lame duck and a talking dog we could be a sensation on children’s television.

‘What did you think of my immigration reform?’ asked Big O

‘I was very disappointed that it didn’t apply to dogs’ I replied ‘Canine illegals entering over the Southern Border have no rights whatsoever. In fact lame dogs are much more likely to be put down than lame ducks’

‘I’m not going to stand idly by’ said Big O ‘while Congress rejects all my landmark legislation. Stand by for a blizzard of executive orders’

‘I’d be a bit careful if I was you’ I said ‘because if they don’t get ratified by Congress the next president could simply dump them’

‘The next president will be Hillary’ said Big O ‘so my legacy will live on’

‘Hold it right there’ I said ‘if Hillary is the next president she’s not going to give a rats about nurturing your legacy, she’ll be much more committed to nurturing her own’

‘Is there any way’ asked Big O ‘I could fix it so that Hillary preserves my legacy?’

‘You could kick her on the kneecap’ I suggested ‘so she becomes a lame duck as well’

‘From a strategic perspective’ said Big O ‘is there anything I could do to guarantee she doesn’t get nominated?’

‘Yes’ I replied ‘you could lend your wholehearted support to her campaign ’

‘Pity about Chuck though’ said Big O ‘because he won’t be around long enough to make his mark like Eric’

‘That’s right’ I said ‘a major scandal takes at least a couple of years’

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About this Series
Bo is the first canine to achieve a Senior Adviser position with a US President. He is responsible for many of the leading dogtrines of the Obama administration, is a leading expert on animal welfare and is adept at dealing with people who are absolutely barking. He is currently working on Obamacare for pets and has been selected to attend the next G20 meeting to pee over Putin’s shoe. Without Bo at his side Obama wouldn’t stand a dog’s chance.

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