TheBigSmoke now funneled into FridayMash
The only election of 2016: Making font great again
Because there wasn’t an election yesterday, we’re running one. We’re going to make Times New Roman great again. Vote now!
Following a poll revealing that Arial is the preferred font, by a huge lead, The Big Smoke, as lovers of Times New Roman (nobody loves Times New Roman more than us, folks,) feel it’s time to use the democratic system to fix this problem, because it’s just been sitting there, unused… Not used at all. Nope. Fellow Internet citizens, we have a problem. We sit in an unfair system, unfairly controlled by one solitary thing, one that no-one wanted, and no-one sure as fuck chose, but here it sits, in front of all of us. We need to avoid this typecasting.
As the numbers display below, the Arial font is so ingrained in our society, perhaps we haven’t noticed the difference when we travel to websites on the “other” side of the world-wide web. But the difference does exist and it’s huge. Change, and perhaps tolerance of any other font has been met with resistance. Nothing overt, nothing that expressly stated you couldn’t use any other font, it was just quietly agreed that it would be better if you didn’t. More of the same would be better. You know?
Times New Roman, once considered the world-leading text in our older siblings’ generation, the once great Times New Roman empire is now in ruin, folks – with a paltry 38,000 representatives, Times New Roman is ignored by the font system. So here’s what we’re going to do: we’re going to make Times New Roman great again. It’ll be great, we’ll change everything back to Times New Roman, and we’ll get Microsoft to pay for it.
You see, there’s a problem. The established fonts, Arial, in particular, are crooked:
When Arial is pushed, no backspace is given, just a series of meaningless words fall out, a series of gibberish that is hard to decipher or read, and if you think that we should have to deal with something that the majority of us didn’t want, well, you’ve got another thing coming. Because this November, because there’s nothing else on that month, nope, nothing at all, the people will rise up, be heard and make Times New Roman great again.