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The Pudding Club Pontifications

Empirical Advice

Empirical Advice

Friday 13 May, 2016
Pudding Club members dined at the Club last week on the Chef’s Speciality Sole Meuniere expertly paired with a Sancerre from the Val de Loire.
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The Pudding Club section Friday Mash.com

“I say” said His Lordship ‘what did you think about the gratuitous advice from Obama that we shouldn’t Brexit?”

“Damned bloody cheek if you ask me” responded the General “all he’s interested in is getting the EU perspective from Angela and he doesn’t want to be bothered with talking separately to us”

“I think he’s worried that if we Brexit” commented Sir Rah “Boris will become PM and he’ll appoint Nigel as the Minister for the New British Empire”

“That sounds exciting” enthused His Lordship “who do you think would join?”

“Well we’ve already got Gibraltar and the Falklands for a start” explained the General “then there’s the British Virgin Islands, which they almost renamed after my visit, Panama and Brazil”

“Why on earth would Brazil want to become part of the British Empire?” asked Sir Rah

“Because under us” explained the General “they would only suffer impairment rather than impeachment”

“Very droll” commented His Lordship “I believe the truth is that all world leaders want us to stay in the EU because they’re wary of our power as a fully independent nation”

“Hear hear” cried the General “if Leicester City can come out on top so can we”

“What I don’t understand” said His Lordship thoughtfully “is how someone like the Aussie PM can have the effrontery to advise us to stay in the EU. These people don’t understand what it’s like to have Brussels constantly on the phone to David demanding that we take in more refugees or stump up more money to bail out Greece or to help Turkey look after the refugees that they’ll expect us to take in next year”

“People like Obama, that Aussie cove and the UN Secretary General who all want us to stay in” asserted the General “are as bad as that Sturgeon menace who is trying to blackmail us into staying. If I was David I’d call her bluff and declare independence from Scotland before she has the chance to do it to us post Brexit”

“Would the Labour Party be in favour of Israel joining our new Empire?” asked Sir Rah

“I think not” said His Lordship “I’ve gained the impression that they lean rather towards Israel joining the Palestinian Empire”

“Trump thinks we should Brexit” said Sir Rah

“What an extraordinarily perceptive fellow he is” enthused the General

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About this Series
Located on the fashionable side of Pall Mall the Club is famous for counting some of the UK’s greatest political intellects among its members. Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera convene there regularly to create the brilliant insights which David relies on so much to keep the ship of state on course.

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