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Bill’s Angels Activations

Ending the Economy of Labor Economic Policy

Ending the Economy of Labor Economic Policy

Friday 16 January, 2015
Read about the Angels’ momentous worldwide activation to defy history by finding a credible economic policy for the Labor Party.
The story starts here...

Bills Angels on Friday Mash
As they gathered for their first activation briefing in 2015 the Angels were in a celestial frame of mind.

‘Good morning Angels’ skyped Bill ‘I am sending you on a worldwide activation which could result in me rocketing up the preferred prime minister polling ahead of Abbott’

‘Abbott is a prime ministerial pillock’ said Tanya

‘I am tasking you with finding me the ultimate economic policy’ announced Bill ‘Feel free to go anywhere in the world to reveal the policy which will help me restore prosperity to all the peoples of this land because I can’t think of one and neither can Wayne or Chris Bowen’

The Angels buzzed with excitement at the thought of discovering for Labor their first ever breakthrough economic policy that didn’t result in debt, deficit and despair.

The first stop on their worldwide odyssey was Paul Keating. ‘Don’t ask me’ he said ‘Howard started the rot, Rudd and Gillard made it worse and Abbott’s attempts at economic management remind me of Wayne Swan in second grade. The only option after that lot of losers is selling the joint to China’

They then flew to consult Alex Tsipras the head of the Syriza Party in Greece.

‘Look’ he said ‘the big mistake made by countries that rack up a large debt is to try and repay it. That way the creditors run the country rather than the government. The Syriza Party’s policy on Greece’s huge debt is clear, blame it on previous governments, carry on spending irresponsibly as usual and tell the EU to write everything off as a charitable donation’

‘Isn’t that fiscally irresponsible?’ asked Penny

‘It’s a damn site better than living in poverty’ replied Alex ‘and who the hell’s going to vote for any party who promises you that?’

Next the Angels popped into the White House. ‘Look’ said Obama ‘the trick is to keep the economy on the edge of a fiscal cliff and become an ongoing hero for preventing it plunging over’

Finally they visited the Kiwi PM John Keys ‘You have to adopt the same successful policy as us by increasing the GST to 15% and gaining free trade agreements with as many countries as possible’

‘But those are Abbott’s policies’ said Kate

‘I know’ said John ‘you’re behind the eight ball, he got the idea of copying us ages ago’

‘You’ve got a choice’ said Tanya when the Angels reported back to Bill ‘you can either copy the Coalition’s policy, ignore debt and deficit altogether or carry on as you are’

‘That tends to confirm what I’ve always believed’ said Bill ‘The only economic policy needed by the Labor Party is the one from the Coalition to clear up the fiscal mess we invariably leave behind’


About this Series
Tanya Plibersek, Penny Wong and Kate Ellis are the tempestuous trio who comprise Bill’s Angels. No activation is too daunting for these glamourous guardians of goodness as they respond to Bill’s demands to root out any right-wing ratbag with the gall to mess with working families.

View all articles in the Bill’s Angels Activations Series
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