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FlotSamOrJetSam?

FlotSamOrJetSam?

Friday 29 December, 2017
Guy the Friday Mash Superfly was on a wall in the career advisor’s office when Sam Dastyari came in for guidance about future career directions. Here is Guy’s exclusive account of their fascinating discussion.
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Guy the FridayMash Superfly

Guy the Friday Mash Superfly was on a wall in the career advisor’s office when Sam Dastyari came in for guidance about future career directions. Here is Guy’s exclusive account of their fascinating discussion.

 “Now Sam” began Alec the advisor “what job experience have you had?”

 “I’ve been General Secretary of the NSW Branch of the Labor Party” replied Sam “and a Labor Senator”

“Oh dear” responded Alec “I was rather hoping that you’d had some experience that would be useful in helping you find a new career”

“I’ve been thinking” revealed Sam “that I might be a chance for a gig in the ABC’s broadcasting service to China”

“Hardly” replied Alec “China has been forced to disown you and I don’t think you’re Green enough for the ABC”

“On the other hand” revealed Sam “I think there’s a chance I could still get backing from China to open a Peking style restaurant in Canberra”

“Not a good idea” pronounced Alec “all the politicians would assume that whatever they ordered it would come with bugs”

“I have considerable experience in finance” asserted Sam

“Yes I remember” exclaimed Alec “you played a significant role in bringing on the Royal Commission into Banking and Financial Services. Those sectors would look upon any further contribution from you as akin to the onset of a second Global Financial Crisis. Have you considered going back to your roots and flogging Persian Carpets?

“I’m afraid that if I did that” confessed Sam “I’d run the risk of being investigated by the Middle East Crime Task Force and be susceptible to claims that I’m either a terrorist or a dual citizen”

“I suppose it’s just possible” said Alec thoughtfully “that your experience as a Labor Party General Secretary could qualify you to become the head of an abattoir or a consiglieri in the Australian mafia”

“I should point out” said Sam helpfully “that I’m looking for a career to tide me over until I return to politics”

“Oh I see” commented Alec “you’re looking for something longterm”

“Do you think there’s a chance that James Packer would give me a job?” asked Sam “After all he employed Mark Arbib”

“Employing Arbib was certainly a gamble” opined Alec “but employing you would have the same effect asthrowing open the doors during a hurricane”

“I’m certain I could find employment among my former Labor colleagues in NSW” asserted Sam

“That’s not a bad idea” said Alec brightly “there’s plenty of opportunities in the prison service”

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About this Series
Having stuck with a fly paper for many years Guy has become a celebrated political reporter through his unique ability to locate himself on the walls the prominent and powerful and listen in to their conversations. He is always careful to take with him a fly-spray early warning detector.

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