Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

Following In Trump’s Footsteps

Following In Trump’s Footsteps

Friday 12 May, 2017
Pauline and James discuss how she can raise her populist profile to the level of Trump and they decide the first priority is to drain the Canberra swamp to prevent her sinking into it.
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Friday Mash Cartoon 020317b

 

Pauline and James discuss how she can raise her populist profile to the level of Trump and they decide the first priority is to drain the Canberra swamp to prevent her sinking into it.

 “Look James” confided Pauline at the strategy review meeting last week “I’m feeling really frustrated”

“What you have to keep in mind” said James sympathetically “is that your political profile has improved significantly since you gave up men”

 “But I don’t appear in centrefolds any more” pointed out Pauline “and I’m feeling politically frustrated because other leading populists seem to be doing much better than me””

“You mean like Trump?” queried James

“Yes him” confirmed Pauline “and like Wilders who came second in the Netherlands elections and Le Pen has just done the same in France and here am I scratching around to get the odd seat or two in the tinpot WA state election”

“I’ve thought about that” said James thoughtfully “and come to the conclusion you’re neither populist nor popular enough”

“That’s bullshit” exclaimed Pauline “because my fish and chip heritage combined with my innate inability to understand what the hell politics has got to do with running the country makes me the Princess of Populism. You must be failing to project my populist persona positively”

“I’m doing the best I can” claimed James “but the fact is that while the public don’t see either Malcolm or Bill as national saviours the polls indicate you wouldn’t be the folks’ first choice to run the Parliament House souvenir store”

“The way I see it” explained Pauline “is that I’ve got the same potential as Trump but I’m more nuanced and sophisticated”

“Perhaps it’s that you’re more intellectual” suggested James

“I think you’ve hit the nail on the head” agreed Pauline enthusiastically “because let’s face it I don’t go round insulting people all the time and threatening to drain the Canberra swamp”

“That’s it” cried James “that’s what you need to do to push your claims to become a populist PM. You’ve got to promise to drain the Canberra swamp of Malcolm, Bill, the Greens, Nick Xenophon, Jacqui Lambie and every other politician from Tasmania and South Australia”

“That sounds promising” commented Pauline

“Then after your drain-the-Canberra-swamp policy produces a landslide win at the next election” continued James inspirationally “you will be able to pull the plug on lobbyists, bureaucrats and the press gallery as well”

“So where would my support team come from?” asked Pauline

“From Queensland of course the home of populism” advised James “and from your appointment of Tony Abbott as Governor General”

 

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