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Gay Marriage Break-Up

Gay Marriage Break-Up

Friday 7 October, 2016
The Blockers find it difficult to hold a plebiscite amongst themselves on gay marriage. “I have called this meeting” announced Nick “to reaffirm our determination to block the gay marriage plebiscite” “Are we absolutely certain that’s still such a good idea” asked Sarah “wouldn’t it be better to put gay marriage to bed?” “I agree” […]
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Guy the FridayMash SuperflyThe Blockers find it difficult to hold a plebiscite amongst themselves on gay marriage.

“I have called this meeting” announced Nick “to reaffirm our determination to block the gay marriage plebiscite”

“Are we absolutely certain that’s still such a good idea” asked Sarah “wouldn’t it be better to put gay marriage to bed?”

“I agree” said Pauline stridently “the sooner people understand there’s a single solution to this whole gay marriage thing the better”

“But surely” insisted Nick “it would be remiss of us not to block a plebiscite which would cost two hundred million and enable bigoted, homophobic campaigning to become politically correct”

“That sounds like great value for money” commented Pauline

“Of course we should block the plebiscite” asserted Derryn “because only federal politicians like us possess the wisdom to vote emphatically in favour of gay marriage”

“But Australians are fed up with politicians trying to legislate about what goes on in their bedrooms” protested Pauline “they want the right to decide what happens there whether it’s gay or not”

“The problem is” explained Jacqui “no-one wants to come into my bedroom”

“That’s the result of a conscience vote among federal politicians” explained Pauline

“We have to be absolutely clear” stressed Nick “about the need for the marriage equality issue to be decided by a parliamentary vote”

“But I believe it is inherently dangerous” declared Pauline “to entrust a decision as critical as that to the dodgy people who brought us the carbon tax, the national debt and the First Bloke”

“I can’t wait to block the plebiscite” affirmed Jacqui “to punish Malcolm for adopting an Abbott idea”

“I’m concerned” said Sarah with obvious concern “that if we block the plebiscite Australia will descend into a state of gay gridlock”

“And we’d have to suffer Bill Shorten rabbiting on for yonks about a conscience vote” warned Pauline “despite the fact that he sold his to the ACTU years ago”

“If we fail to block the plebiscite” Nick reminded them “we would lose the respect of voters who have put their trust in us to do the right thing for democracy by blocking any legislation from Malcolm that we possibly can”

“Quite right” concurred Derryn “we’d be reduced to the status of rubber stamps”

“Well then at least we’d come in handy” remarked Jacqui “for authenticating gay marriage certificates”

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About this Series
Having stuck with a fly paper for many years Guy has become a celebrated political reporter through his unique ability to locate himself on the walls the prominent and powerful and listen in to their conversations. He is always careful to take with him a fly-spray early warning detector.

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