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Indiana Joe Crusades

Global Search for the Missing Aussie Surplus

Global Search for the Missing Aussie Surplus

Friday 7 November, 2014
Joe pursues the theory that the Aussie Budget Surplus has been spirited overseas and a foreign government is keeping it under wraps for a rainy day.
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Indiana Joe and the Raiders of the Lost Budget Surplus

‘I’ve been thinking’ said Miss Triss Joe’s aged assistant ‘one of the leaders attending the G20 might be able to help find the Holy Grail of the Lost Surplus’

‘What makes you think that?’ asked Joe

‘Well’ replied Miss Triss ‘surpluses are hard to come by these days and the temptation to nick ours may have been too great’

‘I’m not so sure’ said Joe ‘because surpluses have gone out of fashion. Governments are scared to declare one in case it encourages the unions to put in outrageous pay claims’

‘Let’s face it though’ said Miss Triss ‘you’ve searched everywhere for the surplus in Australia and there are countries like Greece and Italy who would love to get hold of one just for its novelty value’

‘I still have a nagging feeling’ said Joe ‘that Lost Surplus Raiders like Bill, Christine and Clive know where its hidden and are blocking my way to finding it through the Senate’

‘Nevertheless’ said Miss Triss ‘I’d have a word with Tony if I were you. Foreign governments have no compunction about hiding things like Edward Snowden and WMDs so they wouldn’t give a toss about doing it with our surplus’

‘Look Tony’ said Joe when they met later that day ‘Miss Triss believes there’s a good chance that our Holy Grail of a Budget Surplus has been nicked by a foreign government’

‘Listen Joe’ said Tony ‘I warned you before not to listen to that raddled old rottweiler. She knows even less about the economy than I do’

‘I’ve been thinking though’ said Joe ‘that she may have a point. Imagine the kudos the Greek Government could command if they declared a budget surplus even if it was actually ours’

‘I see what you mean’ said Tony ‘let’s just consider all the main suspects. It’s unlikely to be Putin because if he wanted a surplus he’d simply annexe a country that had one’

‘If it was Hollande who pinched it’ said Joe ‘he wouldn’t declare it he’d simply spend it on women’

‘China might be a possibility’ said Tony ‘but if they were that desperate they’d simply nick Clive’s business surplus’

‘Hillary might have seized it’ said Joe ‘to buy the presidency at the next election although by the time Obama hands it over it won’t be worth two bob’

‘Wait a minute’ said Tony ‘didn’t NZ recently declare a surplus?’

‘Of course’ said Joe ‘that’s it, they must have nicked it. No wonder their bottom line is All Black’

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About this Series
Joe has dedicated himself to finding the Holy Grail of the Lost Surplus despite the resolute efforts of Raiders to thwart him. His crusade to get his budget through the Senate is blocked by rampant Raiders like Bill, Christine and Clive but Joe will find a way even if it means doctors making co-payments to patients.

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