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The Pudding Club Pontifications

Going Round The May Poll

Going Round The May Poll

Friday 26 May, 2017
Pudding Club members discuss how to save Theresa from Trump, Blair and the EU.
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Pudding Club members discuss how to save Theresa from Trump, Blair and the EU.

 Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera really appreciated the sommelier’s expert choice of a Chateau Haut-Batailley to complement their medium rare filet mignon at the Club last week.

“I say” said His Lordship “I can’t imagine why that crackpotCorbyn is even bothering to contest the election”

“It’s like a non-League club playing Chelsea in the FA Cup Final” remarked the General

“A cautionary word if I may” interposed Sir Rah “there’s a possibility that Blair might muster the anti-Brexit brigade into a chaotic coalition that’s also virulently anti-Theresa”

“Blair couldn’t coalesce a group of sex maniacs into Remaining in a bordello” opined the General “and don’t forget his last Coalition of the Willing failed to Remain in Iraq”

“But if Blair and Sturgeon got together” surmised Sir Rah “and mobilised anti-Brexit opinion leaders like Cameron and Clegg they might give Theresa a bit of a shake”

“Nonsense” declared His Lordship “the public would never vote for Bremain if it meant installing a Trotskyist in Downing Street”

“And there’s another thing” emphasised the General ‘the Krauts, the Frogs and that ghastly Juncker can’t wait to exact revenge on the UK  for saving ourselves so many times from their adventurous cross-channel aspirations”

“I must say” declared His Lordship “that it was rather a tragedy that Le Pen didn’t win the French Presidency. A combination of Theresa, Le Pen and Trump could have changed the world and they might even have made a populist out of Angela”

“Hold on a minute” cautioned Sir Rah “you can’t put Theresa in the Trump and Le Pen category of populists. She’s neither a rabble-rouser nor a Nazi and she can’t stand Putin”

“Couldn’t agree more old boy” concurred the General “Theresa is a quintessential example of British womanhood. In fact a combination of her and my Parisian paramour would represent the ultimate feminine object of my desire”

“Regrettably however” commented Sir Rah “I have to remind you that joint initiatives between the UK and the EU are being phased out”

“It’s up to all of us” His Lordship reminded them “to mount the election hustings to support Theresa in her quest to lead us from the clutches of Europeanism and Corbyn communism”

“And don’t forget she’s already saved us from Trump populism” pointed out Sir Rah “by postponing his state visit”

 

 

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About this Series
Located on the fashionable side of Pall Mall the Club is famous for counting some of the UK’s greatest political intellects among its members. Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera convene there regularly to create the brilliant insights which David relies on so much to keep the ship of state on course.

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