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The Pudding Club Pontifications

Having a Euro Each Way

Having a Euro Each Way

Friday 12 February, 2016
Pudding Club members discuss their commitment to Euroscepticism and whether the Empire will be successful in striking back against the Dark Side in Brussels.
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The Pudding Club section Friday Mash.com

Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera lunched at the Club last week on roast beef embellished by the most unbelievably drinkable Dominio de Pingus, one of Spain’s most celebrated drops.

“I say” said His Lordship “David seems to be getting himself into the most awful shemozzle over the EU”

“Beats me” said the General “why he’d want to remain a confrére of those cockamamie continentals under any circumstances”

“I must say’ said Sir Rah “I’m with David. I firmly believe that we should remain an EU member and ask only in return that Brussels respects the ultimate authority of the world’s premier and indeed original Westminster system”

“I’m absolutely torn” said His Lordship “I’m keen to see David succeed of course but as far as the EU is concerned I’m a dedicated disciple of the Gospel according to Maggie”

“My dear fellow” said the General “we’re in a battle to prevent the UK being subsumed by the EU’s refugee policies. If that means replacing David with Nigel it’s an undeniably small price to pay”

“That Lawson cove approached in the Lords the other day” said His Lordship

“wanting me to join his Vote Leave campaign. He’s an a Euro-sceptic-fanatic who wouldn’t vote for staying in the EU even if David negotiated a free membership and a buy one get one free deal with Mercedes”

“The Old Etonian Nation will rise up” said the General “and won’t be deterred until the EU Parliament understands that the only binding positions the UK will agree to having imposed upon us are all in the Kama Sutra”

“We mustn’t give up on David” said Sir Rah “unless of course he decides to go as far as building the Refugee Republic in England’s green and pleasant land”

“I’m afraid David’s going to come out of this looking like the world’s worst marriage guidance counsellor” remarked the General “He’ll fail to persuade the UK to stay married to the EU and despite his best efforts to prevail upon them to stay faithful to the Party the Eurosceptics will get into bed with Nigel rather than the continental concubine”

“I still have faith” said His Lordship “that when it comes to getting out David will realise that EU considerations are different from cricket”

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About this Series
Located on the fashionable side of Pall Mall the Club is famous for counting some of the UK’s greatest political intellects among its members. Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera convene there regularly to create the brilliant insights which David relies on so much to keep the ship of state on course.

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