Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

High Wide and Hanson

High Wide and Hanson

Friday 28 April, 2017
Is Malcolm becoming as populist as Pauline? That’s the question Pauline and James wrestle with as they plot they plot the rise of Pauline to become the premier populist in world politics.
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Friday Mash Cartoon 020317b

Is Malcolm becoming as populist as Pauline? That’s the question Pauline and James wrestle with as they plot they plot the rise of Pauline to become the premier populist in world politics.

 “Hooray” cried Pauline “Malcolm is adopting all my immigration policies”

“Well not quite all” pointed out James “he’s still allowing the Kiwis to come in”

“But he’s canned 457 visas” declared Pauline “and stopped foreigners coming here to take jobs which should go to Aussies. There was nothing to stop Trump or Le Pen coming here with a 457 and snatching my job as the nation’s premier populist except my charisma”

“I think we should concentrate on the scheme’s faults” suggested James “rather than its possible benefits”

“And what’s more” persisted Pauline “Malcolm’s adopting my policy which makes it harder to become an Aussie citizen”

“All Malcolm’s doing” explained James “is fiddling around at the edges with things like making the citizenship test harder rather than implementing your deterrent strategy of making refugees wait on Christmas Island for ten years before sending them home”

“But there are definite signs that Malcolm’s becoming more populist” declared Pauline “I’m absolutely confident he’ll progressively adopt more and more of my policies like building a wall around Tasmania to prevent any of their politicians reaching Canberra and shutting down all our embassies in countries where they don’t speak English”

“Malcolm’s also adopted your policy of bringing back the ABCC” James reminded her

“I know” acknowledged Pauline “but he hasn’t authorised it to take up my idea of imprisoningCFMEU members permanently without charge”

“I believe” said James seriously “that it’s only a matter of time before Malcolm implements not only all your policies but Tony’s as well and then he’ll be obliged to appoint both of you to his cabinet”

“I’ll insist on becoming Minister for Immigration” confirmed Pauline “because that douchebag Dutton is allowing in far too many foreigners”

“And don’t forget” James reminded her “that you’ve got another critical policy announcement later this week”

“The world will certainly take notice” asserted Pauline “when I officially declare the end of Climate Change and the rehabilitation of carbon emissions”

“What about protecting the Barrier Reef?” asked James

“Oh yes” declared Pauline “I’m also going to announce a ban on pouring bleach into the sea”

 

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