Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

Honesty Is The Best Policy Except In Politics

Honesty Is The Best Policy Except In Politics

Friday 2 September, 2016
Ged and Dave instruct Bill on how to increase the pressure on Malcolm through a much more flexible approach to Labor Party policies.
The story starts here...

The ACTU Our Brother Bills Keeper heading

“By the way Bill” said Ged “under no circumstances should you agree to Malcolm’s plan to cut spending by six billion dollars”

“The trouble is” responded Bill “the Labor Party has already supported it”

“Well circumstances change” announced Dave “like Malcolm only having a one seat majority. We can’t afford to be too precious about policies when there’s the chance of knocking Malcolm off”

“But debt is the greatest moral challenge of our time” pointed out Bill

“That’s what Malcolm claims” said Ged “but Kevin crapped on about the greatest moral challenge being climate change and look at the bugger’s muddle that landed us in”

“But there’s got to be some semblance of probity in party policy-making”

protested Bill “simply dropping all the rest of our policies in favour of a single focus on dumping Malcolm runs contrary to the integrity of Labor Party policy-making of which I am so justly proud”

“Get real Bill” said Ged “when one-seat- majority Malcolm is the only thing standing in the way of you leading an ethical and moral government to raise the union movement to a position of unprecedented power and wealth what the hell’s integrity got to do with it?”

“Oh alright then” said Bill resignedly “what do you suggest?”

“You must reject Malcolm’s spending cuts outright” instructed Ged “and propose instead an eight billion dollar package that we have prepared for you”

“It comprises brilliantly innovative measures” declared Dave confidently “like raising taxes on business, the rich and the banks and we’re especially proud of our breakthrough policy of employers paying an employment tax to unions in respect of all union members they have on staff and an unemployment tax in respect of all union members who they don’t”

“Why the hell would Scott and Malcolm agree to that?” asked Bill

“For the same reason they’ll have to agree to a Royal Commission into the banks” said Ged “and a conscience vote on gay marriage. The Senate’s never going to pass any of their other policies so those are their only chances of actually doing anything”

“Are you sure the independent Senators are onside?” asked Bill

‘We’ve just made Nick Xenophon the General Secretary of the Independent Senators Union” replied Dave

Comments

About this Series
This series reveals the nature of the special relationship between the ACTU and Bill and in the event of him becoming Prime Minister how much power they’d be prepared to delegate to him.

View all articles in the The ACTU Our Brother Bills Keeper Series
Share with
Sign up for Mailing List

powered by MailChimp!

Advertisement

You may also like...

Don’t Kill Bill
Ged and Sally call in Bill to discuss why his career at the AWU is...
Nicking Off
Guy the Friday Mash Superfly was on a wall at a meeting of the SA...
In His Bad Books
Celebrated Canberra correspondent Dick Head interviews Kevin Rudd on...
Accentuating The Positive
In another of her enthralling dissertations about life in The Lodge...
Will Theresa Exit Before Brexit?
Pudding Club members wrestle with the question of whether Theresa is...
It’s All The Rage
The Friday Mash Motoring Editor discusses the latest techniques for...