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Ignore Terrorism and it Will Take Over the ABC

Ignore Terrorism and it Will Take Over the ABC

Friday 10 July, 2015
Guy, the Friday Mash Superfly, was on a wall in Mark Scott’s office when he held a meeting with his senior production team to clarify ABC policy on vilifying the Coalition. Here is Guy’s exclusive report of their discussion.
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Guy the FridayMash Superfly

“I believe it is essential” said Hermione “that we assert our absolute independence to say whatever we like about the Coalition especially their ridiculously over-aggressive attitude to terrorism”

“Couldn’t agree more” said Gilbert “if terrorist sympathisers can’t enjoy free speech on the ABC where on earth can they go to communicate with young people now that all the extremist bookshops are being shut down”

“Whilst I sympathise with your view” said Mark “there is perhaps the consideration that as the national broadcaster we shouldn’t have given airtime to the views of whacky Zaky”

“Misogyny should be no bar to free speech” said Hermione “after all we give lots of airtime to Abbott”

“I can’t help feeling” said Gilbert “that his over-reaction to the terrorist threat is playing into the hands of ISIL”

“But surely” said Mark “you can’t blame the government for taking strong anti-terror measures. To do nothing would have been as big a mistake as dumping the carbon tax”

“We’re only talking about the odd explosion here and there” said Hermione

“to allow people to vent their frustrations. I see it as a sort of safety valve”

“Do you think it was a good idea to allow repeats of the Q&A programme?” asked Mark

“Unquestionably” replied Gilbert “having Abbott tell us what to do is an abuse of free speech. Besides the people who didn’t see it the first time needed the opportunity to consider whether they’re on the side of Abbott or terrorism”

“It looks as though members of the coalition will be boycotting Q&A” said Mark

“Great news” said Hermione “I’ve always thought the show would be so much more balanced without them”

“What’s the new show you’re working on Gilbert?” asked Mark

“It’s a romantic drama set on Christmas Island in 2020” said Gilbert “Two men arrive on separate asylum seeker boats, fall in love and there’s a gay marriage at the processing centre”

“Wouldn’t it add to the poignancy” asked Mark “if they were climate change activists or terrorists?”

“I was thinking more transgender” said Gilbert

“What are you working on Hermione?” asked Mark

“I’ve currently got one of my people in the Islamic State” she replied “trying to gain an interview with the leader of the death cult”

“Is he having any luck?” asked Mark

“Difficult to say” replied Hermione ‘I’ve lost contact with him for the past three weeks”

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About this Series
Having stuck with a fly paper for many years Guy has become a celebrated political reporter through his unique ability to locate himself on the walls the prominent and powerful and listen in to their conversations. He is always careful to take with him a fly-spray early warning detector.

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