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In A Different Class

In A Different Class

Friday 19 May, 2017
In the post-Budget review meeting with Bill the ACTU leadership comprising Ged and Sally express their disappointment that he hasn’t openly declared a class war on Malcolm by proposing a wealth tax on Sydney’s Eastern Suburbs.
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In the post-Budget review meeting with Bill the ACTU leadership comprising Ged and Sally express their disappointment that he hasn’t openly declared a class war on Malcolm by proposing a wealth tax on Sydney’s Eastern Suburbs.

 “That was very provocative of Malcolm” declared Ged “to nick so many of Labor’s policies in his budget”

“Well you could hardly blame him” opined Bill “seeing that all his policies have been such a disaster”

“So now Labor’s only option is to adopt my policy portfolio” asserted Sally “and declare open class warfare on the Coalition, the banks and Tony Abbott”

“Hold on a minute” exclaimed Bill “I’m not sure about this class warfare business. My wife is the daughter of a former Governor General so class warfare could mean civil war could break out between me and my mother-in-law”

“Well it’s either that” explained Sally “or a campaign to rebrand you as Australia’s answer to Jeremy Corbyn”

“Give me a break” demanded Bill “he’s going to get smashed by Theresa in the June election. His economic policies would make the Greek economy look like it’s being managed by the Gnomes of Zurich”

 “What Sally’s trying to make you understand” explained Ged “is that the Labor Party is controlled by the unions and they want Australia to become a fairer society run by the workers”

“But if the workers run the joint” queried Bill “who is going to do all the work?”

“In the workers’ utopia” explained Sally “they would only work two days a week so that would leave plenty of time for them to run the country”

“So what would become of Labor politicians like me?” asked Bill

“You would become figureheads like the Governor General” replied Sally “with responsibility for reorientating the management classes through trade courses at TAFE and joining them up with the appropriate union”

“What about Coalition politicians?” asked Bill

“We should make every effort to convert them into useful citizens” conceded Sally “so perhaps after a political rehabilitation period with a union they could get jobs at Fairfax and the ABC”

“But people like Barnaby Joyce and Tony Abbott are never going to respond to that sort of treatment” declared Bill “and neither for that matter is James Packer”

“After they’ve been hit with our revised Section 18 C policies covering inappropriate political abuse of progressives plus our much fairer taxation policies” outlined Sally “the Labor Party will emerge as their natural political destiny”

 

 

 

 

 

 

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About this Series
This series reveals the nature of the special relationship between the ACTU and Bill and in the event of him becoming Prime Minister how much power they’d be prepared to delegate to him.

View all articles in the The ACTU Our Brother Bills Keeper Series
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