Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

Interesting Times

Interesting Times

Friday 18 March, 2016
Fred Plodge, the doyen of public bar political commentators, reflects this week that while there’s a time for everything, in the case of the budget, the election and the tax reform plan nobody’s got the slightest idea when it is.
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Public Bar Politics - a FridayMash satirical series

In politics timing is everything.

According to Bill the fact that Malcolm has opted to reveal his tax reform plans later rather than earlier is a sign that he’s dithering. According to Malcolm it’s a sign that more often than not second thoughts prove to be ahead of the first.

When Malcolm finally releases his tax reforms Bill will waste no time in condemning them as unfair and too late while Malcolm will claim that to be fair they’re light years of their time.

If Malcolm brings the budget forward Bill will claim it’s been rushed while Malcolm will assert that such is its power to elevate the economy he acted to ensure the country benefited from its bounty as soon as possible.

If the election is brought forward to July Bill will claim it’s merely a ploy to get rid of Jacqui and Ricky Muir and if he became PM he’d be thrilled if they blocked his legislation in the Senate. On the other hand if the election goes ahead on schedule in September Bill will claim that Malcolm is running scared while Malcolm will simply claim that his time has come.

In other words it’s all a complete waste of time.

The patrons of this public bar have always understood the merits of good timing especially in relation to closing. Furthermore a referendum held among patrons over two years ago decided in favour of granting women and gays access to this public bar at all times except during binge drinking festivals. It’s interesting that none of them have yet chosen to avail themselves of the opportunity.

If I was Malcolm I’d present the budget and the tax reform plan one day, hold the election the next and then bring on the plebiscite on gay marriage the day after. It would put an end to all the waste of time crapping on about timing.

Personally I think Malcolm’s right to do something about voting arrangements for the Senate. Otherwise it might soon be possible to get elected with so few votes that even Peta Credlin could get a guernsey.

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About this Series
Fred Plodge is widely acclaimed as Australia’s premier pub commentator on politics and international affairs. Pub patrons throughout Sydney look to Fred as their most unfailingly reliable source of current affairs commentary. Fred’s insight seems to reach full potential after around six schooners and this has led to a feeling amongst patrons that by comparison the commentary from most politicians falls a few schooners short.

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