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Indiana Joe Crusades

Joe goes the Same Way as the Surplus

Joe goes the Same Way as the Surplus

Friday 25 September, 2015
Joe believes that going down the same way as the surplus could give him the best possible chance of finding it.
The story starts here...

Indiana Joe and the Raiders of the Lost Budget Surplus

“Now that Malcolm’s torpedoed Tony” said Miss Triss Joe’s aged senior advisor “you’ll be next”

“It’s all so unfair” wailed Joe “I was a triumphal Treasurer despite carrying the burden of a prime minister who had about as much idea of running an economy as Wayne Swan in a coma”

“The trouble was” said Miss Triss “despite all your promises you never came within a GFC of finding the Holy Grail of the Lost Surplus”

“That wasn’t my fault” cried Joe “I was thwarted by the independent Raider cesspit in the Senate like Clive’s old mob

“Let’s face it” said Miss Triss “you were hardly a star of the Abbott government and certainly not a heavenly body”

“Then who do you think was holding the whole thing together if it wasn’t me? demanded Joe

Peta Credlin” replied Miss Triss

“And who the hell” persisted Joe “do you think could have done a more inspired job of keeping the economy on track?”

“Malcolm Turnbull and Scott Morrison” replied Miss Triss “it’s a mystery why Tony never worked that out for himself”

“So what the hell am I going to do now?” asked Joe

“You could always undertake a search for the Holy Grail of the Lost Surplus in a private capacity” suggested Miss Triss “because finding it is obviously way beyond the capabilities of any politician”

“The Raiders of the Lost Surplus like the ACTU and the Greens” said Joe “are determined to prevent anyone finding it. I’d have a much better chance of finding the loot buried in a garden by the AWU”

“There’s a possibility” said Miss Triss “that Malcolm will keep you in the cabinet especially if you’re prepared to support his drive to appoint more women by undergoing a sex-change operation. On the other hand if his main priority is to slim down the cabinet you’d be the first to go”

“I suppose I could stay on as Minister of Spin” said Joe “I’m so good at it that for two years I’ve managed to prevent anyone learning the true state of the economy and that includes me”

“Well Joe” said Miss Triss “I must say that while working for you I’ve never experienced a deficit of fun”

“Tell you what then” said Joe “let’s perpetrate one more major ministerial gaffe just in case I never get another opportunity. And if I land that ambassadorial gig in Washington at least I’ll score a few decent lunches”

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About this Series
Joe has dedicated himself to finding the Holy Grail of the Lost Surplus despite the resolute efforts of Raiders to thwart him. His crusade to get his budget through the Senate is blocked by rampant Raiders like Bill, Christine and Clive but Joe will find a way even if it means doctors making co-payments to patients.

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