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The Pudding Club Pontifications

Leave Pass

Leave Pass

Friday 3 February, 2017
Pudding Club members discuss whether they should Brexit immediately and show the rest of the country how it is done.
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Pudding Club members discuss whether they should Brexit immediately and show the rest of the country how it is done.

 Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera lunched at the Club last week on steak and kidney pudding eased down by a Chianti Classico which was every bit as fortifying.

“I say” remarked His Lordship “this Brexit business looks like becoming a real bugger’s muddle”

“The Supreme Court seems to have made that inevitable” opined Sir Rah “because Jeremy Corbyn won’t vote in favour of Brexit unless the unions are allowed to remain”

“The whole thing is like a pair of knickers in a spin-dryer” declared the General “it will keep on going round and round for ages before it gets to the bottom of things”

“I wonder what Theresa will do now” mused His Lordship

“I know what she should do” insisted the General “instead of sending an Article 50 she should send the EU a Dear John letter and begin an affair with Trump”

“I believe that Theresa’s much more of an Article 50 type of girl” declared Sir Rah “than a Trump strumpet”

“What Theresa must grasp” said the General incisively “is that leave doesn’t just apply outside the off stump”

“On the other hand” explained Sir Rah “she obviously don’t want to leave anything that’s on her middle stump”

“Do you think it would help” asked His Lordship “if we sacrificed Scotland by allowing them to stay in?”

“That’s the last thing the EU wants” pronounced Sir Rah “it would be like losing Manchester United while holding on to Accrington Stanley”

“The sooner we start free trade with the US, Australia China, India and the Virgin Islands the better” opined the General

“Why the Virgin Islands?” asked Sir Rah

“There comes a time” explained the General sagely “when virginity is in danger of losing its allure and needs to start trading freely”

“Would Brexit have any effect on the relationship with your paramour in Paris?” asked His Lordship

“Not really” replied the General “it’s a European Union that is beyond the control of the parliament in Brussels”

“I’m quite looking forward to Brexiting” revealed His Lordship “it seems to me that throughout history we’ve always got on better with the continentals when they’re at arm’s length”

“That’s interesting” commented the General “I always seem to get on best with them when they’re very close up and personal”

 

 

 

 

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About this Series
Located on the fashionable side of Pall Mall the Club is famous for counting some of the UK’s greatest political intellects among its members. Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera convene there regularly to create the brilliant insights which David relies on so much to keep the ship of state on course.

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