Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

The Oracle Of Omniscience comes up with a brilliant initiative to assuage the grief of Abbott supporters.



Friday 26 February, 2016
Malcolm faces his moment of truth. Will he be able to come up with credible economic reforms or will the next budget resemble a second half of Hockey?
The story starts here...

Dial Triple O for Malcolm the Oracle

“Where’s Malcolm?” asked Julie Bishop

“He’s on honeymoon with Barnaby in Queensland” replied Scott Morrison

“I’m getting worried” said Julie “because he doesn’t seem to be doing much apart from shuffling”

“Here am I” said Scott “working like a slave on tax reform and the budget and the only person announcing my policies is Bill Shorten

“That’s a worry” said Julie “because we’ll be forced to trash them”

“Do you think Malcolm’s come to the conclusion” asked Scott “that Tony’s policies were right after all?”

“Don’t be ridiculous” responded Julie “he’s merely concluded that they’ll have to do until we can think of something better”

“Well look“ said Scott “things are getting critical, I’ve got a budget coming up in less than three months and people will piss themselves laughing if it’s a repeat of one of Hockey’s

“I know what to do” exclaimed Julie “I’ll dial Triple O for Malcolm The Oracle of Omniscience because he’s sure to know what he should do”

Just five hours later Malcolm arrived from Queensland having taken a break from his honeymoon.

“Malcolm” said Julie “Scott and I are deeply disturbed because you are not announcing any new economic policies and seem to be making do with the leftovers from Tony. It occurred to us that the only person who can help you is you”

“We’re concerned” said Scott “about the possibility of Bill gaining confidence and proposing a super tax on people whose homes have a view of Sydney Harbour”

“I see your point” said Malcolm “I’ve just engaged my Omniscience at full capacity and anticipate an inspiration any second…yes here it is. I should do another reshuffle”

“But that would be a disaster Malcolm” protested Julie “One is ok but two is just leading people on a dance. Please have another go because I think your Omniscience has Malfunctioned”

“If you insist” said Malcolm testily “just bringing my Omniscience up to full power again and yes I do believe I’ve had an idea that’s infinitely more intellectual. I’ll announce all the policies that Bill’s already announced and raise him by a tax cut”

“That’s absolutely brilliant Malcolm” cried Scott “and what are your thoughts about the budget?”

“We should adopt the Wayne Swan model” proclaimed Malcolm “by declaring a surplus and then switching to a deficit in the MYEFO after the election”


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