Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

The Pudding Club Pontifications

May God Bless America Because it’s Not Blessed with Politicians

May God Bless America Because it’s Not Blessed with Politicians

Friday 14 November, 2014
Pudding Club members discuss why it is that US politicians are no better than anywhere else when they spend so much more on elections.
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The Pudding Club section Friday Mash.com

Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera lunched at the Club last week on one of their favourites, Sole Bonne Femme accompanied by a Chablis of a most drinkable disposition.

‘I see the Yanks are having yet another election’ said His Lordship

‘They have one every two years’ said the General ‘preceded by a campaign that lasts at least two and a half’

‘It intrigues me’ said His Lordship ‘that the Yanks spend billions upon billions on elections but they end up with Presidents like George W Bush. And this Obama cove was supposed to be the Second Coming but the Almighty seems to have withdrawn his sponsorship’

‘You’d think’ said the General ‘that with a population of three hundred million odd they could come up with a top drawer President like Maggie’

‘They could get Hillary in a couple of years’ said Sir Rah

‘I’m afraid’ said the General ‘she’s in the third or fourth drawer where you keep the stuff you should have chucked out years ago’

‘I can’t help feeling’ said Sir Rah ‘that US elections aren’t as civilised as ours. Sure we call Miliband and Clegg things like ‘state school lower class losers’ but it’s all in good fun. Over there they raid each other’ electoral offices and set honey traps for candidates so they can feature them on-line in flagrante delicto’

‘Good heavens’ said the General ‘if I was a candidate in a US election I might not get elected but the electorate would certainly appreciate my positions’

‘The Republicans already control the House of Reps’ said the General ‘so if they can get a majority in the Senate Obama might was well spend the next two years hosting White House dinners’

‘It would certainly be an improvement’ said His Lordship ‘if he just concentrated on things like that which he’s good at’

‘I think if we can get out from under the EU’ said the General ‘we should think about re-colonising the US. It would be such a relief to Americans to have somebody with a proven track record in colonialism taking charge of a programme to get the joint back into shape. It would also get us back into the empire-building business and let’s face it we’re damned good at it’

‘It’s always struck me’ said Sir Rah ‘how much better off the US would have been with cricket rather than that rather robust form of rounders’

‘You’re so right’ said His Lordship ‘then instead of becoming a lame duck Obama could have aspired to a Golden Duck’

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About this Series
Located on the fashionable side of Pall Mall the Club is famous for counting some of the UK’s greatest political intellects among its members. Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera convene there regularly to create the brilliant insights which David relies on so much to keep the ship of state on course.

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