Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

Misunderstanding Malcolm

Misunderstanding Malcolm

Friday 13 January, 2017
In another fascinating summary of her innermost ponderings about Malcolm’s PMship Lucy reveals her concern that a potential Trump in Australia could erroneously conclude that Malcolm is indecisive and launch a bid to dis-Lodge him.
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In another fascinating summary of her innermost ponderings about Malcolm’s PMship Lucy reveals her concern that a potential Trump in Australia could erroneously conclude that Malcolm is indecisive and launch a bid to dis-Lodge him.

Look I don’t mind admitting to being a bit anxious about Malcolm.

Of course he’s still doing lots of brilliant things like getting stuff through the Senate and sending asylum seekers over to Trump yet I’m still getting the impression that incredibly there’s a perceived lack of leadership.

Malcolm is absolutely committed to switching to a republic but for tactical reasons he believes it should happen during the Charles inter-regnum between the Queen and William because he and Camilla don’t rank as high in the preferred monarch polling. I must say it would be helpful if Peter Fitzsimmons didn’t give the impression that opting for a Republic would be like handing the country over to a bunch of pirates.

Whilst he is strongly in favour of gay marriage Malcolm appears to be conveying the idea that this can only be brought about through a political marriage with Tony and Cory and that’s hardly likely when they’re so routinely unfaithful to him.

Malcolm has no doubt whatsoever that Bill Shorten is a back-stabbing and conniving little union stooge and people are dying for him to say it out loud but I know he feels keenly that it could possibly lose him support among all the genuine back-stabbing, conniving little union stooges.

And as for those absolutely abominable people who keep trying to blow us up I’m confident of convincing Malcolm it would be such a relief for many to have it confirmed by him that they are in fact Islamist terrorists rather than having to rely on indications from the ABC that they’re ethnics with extreme social sensitivities.

And then there’s the economy. No-one is more supremely qualified than Malcolm to lead Australia back to surplus and economic prosperity and believe me no-one is more frustrated than he is when Labor demonstrates yet again it regards a surplus as merely the result of not paying a dividend to the unions and the Greens reinforce the impression they regard money as something that should be recycled back into trees.

Overall no-one would deny Malcolm is doing an outstanding job for his country who isn’t a unionist, an ABC commentator, a member of Tony Abbott’s mob, the Republican Movement or the gay community or someone who still thinks that that taxing carbon at $24 a tonne was a good idea.

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About this Series
An occasional series featuring the First Lady’s account of her contributions to her husband’s political career and the fate of the nation.

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