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Dick Head Interviews

Newman one day, New Woman the next

Newman one day, New Woman the next

Friday 6 February, 2015
Annastacia Palaszczuk, the new premier of Queensland tells Dick how much she appreciates the efforts of Tony Abbott and Campbell Newman in giving her a shot at the premier’s gig.
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Dick Head Reports on FridayMash


The Dick Head Interview with Annastacia Palaszczuk

‘Congratulations Anna’ said Dick ‘on your stunning result. What is the first thing you would do as premier?’

‘Ask Campbell Newman for a copy of the job description’ replied Anna ‘because I’ll bet he’s forgetten to leave it on the desk’

‘How advanced are your plans’ asked Dick ‘for forming a cabinet?’

‘Oh dear’ replied Anna ‘I’d forgotten about that but no doubt the unions will be sending me their list shortly’

‘What is the main thing you would look forward to as premier?’ asked Dick

‘Having enough members in the parliamentary party’ replied Anna ‘to justify moving our meetings out of a telephone box’

‘What would be your main policy priority as premier?’ asked Dick

‘To keep all the promises I made during the election campaign’ replied Anna ‘and do absolutely nothing about anything including the state electricity assets’

‘What was the single most critical factor in your election success?’ asked Dick

‘I’m not sure really’ replied Anna ‘it was probably Newman’s efforts to persuade Queensland to adopt the Manus Island model’

‘To what do you attribute the singular lack of success in the election’ asked Dick ‘by Palmer United?’

‘Voters were very concerned’ replied Anna ‘that Clive could have the same effect on Queensland as he’s had on the hotel at Coolum’

‘Have you got a policy making body in place yet?’ asked Dick

‘Yes’ replied Anna ‘it’s meeting today at the unions’ HQ’

‘How confident would you be of delivering a budget surplus in Queensland?’ asked Dick

‘I’m not in a position to answer that’ replied Anna ‘because no-one’s yet briefed me on complex financial matters like the GST rate’

‘Did you go into this election’ asked Dick ‘confident that you could win so many seats?’

‘Of course’ replied Anna ‘I’d already told the owner of the telephone box that we wouldn’t be renewing the lease’

‘How do you rate your chances of actually becoming the next premier?’ asked Dick

‘Much better than Campbell Newman’s’ replied Anna ‘and way ahead of anyone in the LNP who is a friend of Tony Abbott

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About this Series
Dick’s outstanding career in political journalism owes much to recent advances in psychiatric treatment. In his role as a leading Canberra correspondent Dick enjoys an especially close rapport with all the leading politicians and the loony left because he’s met them all at the treatment centre.

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