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The Pudding Club Pontifications

Not Enough Revolution To Go Round

Not Enough Revolution To Go Round

Friday 10 July, 2015
The General proposes going over to Greece to lead the Colonels in another revolution but other club members persuade him he’d just be a rank outsider.
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The Pudding Club section Friday

Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera celebrated the onset of summer by lunching at the Club on Lobster Mornay swilled down by a classic Chassagne-Montrachet.

“What the hell are we going to do about the bloody Greeks?” asked His Lordship

“They’re financial terrorists” said the General “not only are they bombing their own economy but they’re blowing up everyone else’s as well”

“It’s as though they’ve accepted that their economy is a chronic car-crash” said Sir Rah “and they’re waiting to collect the accident insurance”

“That Tsipras clown seems to have adopted a Loaves and Fishes strategy in reverse” said the General “He wants the EU to give him enough to go round everybody so he can magically reduce it to nothing”

“He’s following the Gospel according to Miliband” said His Lordship

“Well I’ve had enough” said the General “Greece has gone totally batty and doesn’t give a bonk in a bordello whether they stuff it up for the rest of us. It’s time for action”

“What the hell are you going to do?” asked His Lordship

“I’m going over to Greece to organise another government takeover by the Colonels” said the General

“You can’t do that dear boy” said Sir Rah “it’s undemocratic”

“I’ll tell you what’s undemocratic” said the General “those damned Greeks acting like Gordon Brown with a no-limit credit card and sending the bill to the rest of us”

“Look” said His Lordship “before you do anything hasty why don’t I have a word with David?”

“Then he’d have a word with Angela and Hollande” said the General “and the whole thing would be referred to Brussels who would start planning My Big Fat Greek Funeral”

“What’s your plan of action?” asked Sir Rah

“I’ll get in touch with my old colleague” said the General “who was one of the Colonels in the 1960s coup. He’ll call a meeting of the old guard and we’ll take it from there”

“The trouble is” said Sir Rah “most of the junta are long past it. The best you could hope for is a Grandads Army”

“Well then” said the General “I’ll assemble a team from my regiment and we’ll set up camp in the Acropolis and declare a revolution”

“That’s a highly appropriate location” said His Lordship “because the whole thing would be in ruins from the start”

“I suppose you’re right” said the General “and what’s more it’s probably too late for another sexual revolution with that Grecian goddess I used to worship down the Plaka”


About this Series
Located on the fashionable side of Pall Mall the Club is famous for counting some of the UK’s greatest political intellects among its members. Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera convene there regularly to create the brilliant insights which David relies on so much to keep the ship of state on course.

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