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A Hole Comments

Once More With Failing

Once More With Failing

Friday 29 July, 2016
A Hole, Australia’s leading anally-orientated social commentator, believes it’s vital that another federal election is called as soon as possible because the last one was so long and boring and produced such an unsatisfactory result that we urgently need another to get democracy back on track.
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A Hole Comments on FridayMash

I haven’t come across anyone who is pleased with the outcome of the election.

Certainly not Malcolm and if Bill ever takes time off from his victory tour there’s every chance he’ll come to the shattering realisation that he lost.

It was a dead-set disaster for the Greens but the fact that Pauline, Derryn and Nick seem so stoked by their results is obviously a worry for the rest of us.

It’s clear that Australian voters made such an absolute pig’s ear of the election that it’s impossible to see how it can lead to good government. Therefore it’s clearly in the national interest that they be given a second voting chance to achieve something altogether more sensible.

I hasten to add that we should be spared the agony of another election campaign. It would be so refreshing to go and vote free from the debilitating effects of a campaign hangover.

I am confident a second election would bring people to their senses. They would come to the stark realisation that if they didn’t start taking the whole thing seriously they could end up with another horribly hung situation possibly as agonising as the alliance between Julia and the Greens.

More significantly it’s a chance to restore hope that one day things actually could get better and that’s not just another empty campaign promise. In desperate times we need a Prime Minister who has been in the job long enough to complete his initial training programme, command a bigger majority than one especially when that could be Tony and doesn’t have to suffer a mob of iffy independents in the Senate whose celebrity on the ABC depends on how much legislation they destroy.

The UK is in post-referendum turmoil, the US is faced with the frightening reality of either Trump or Hillary in the White House and the EU is teetering on the edge of the hole where the UK used to be.

So it’s up to Australia to bring sanity and stability to the world by giving its electorate a second chance at the political promised land of budget surpluses and a wonderfully sunny outlook which owes nothing to global warming.

 

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About this Series
As one of Australia’s leading social commentators A Hole is always conscious of the need to avoid making an arse of himself. His commentaries are frequently compared to the material on the walls of public toilets although they don’t remain in the public consciousness anything like as long.

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