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The Pudding Club Pontifications

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Only in America

Friday 1 April, 2016
Pudding Club members consider the threat of a Trump-like figure emerging as PM in the UK and conclude it would be preferable to Corbyn or Boris.
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The Pudding Club section Friday Mash.com

Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera lunched at the Club last week on Boeuf Bourguignon eased down by a mighty Gigondas from Domaine Brusset.

“I say” said His Lordship “how the hell did a sclerotic socialist like Corbyn become leader of the Labor Party?”

“It’s apparent” replied the General “that after a couple of dropkicks like Blair and Miliband they abandoned all hope”

“I believe” commented Sir Rah “that just like Trump and Sanders in the US Corbyn is simply a local manifestation of deep public distrust and contempt for politics as usual. To avoid further disappointment in politicians who don’t keep their promises they’re opting rather for the certainty of politicians who haven’t got a hope in hell of keeping them”

“Good God” exclaimed the General “you don’t believe there’s a chance we’ll suffer anything like Trump over here do you? The guy’s an absolute tosser. An education at Eton might have civilised him but that sort of uncivilised behaviour wouldn’t be acceptable anywhere outside America”

“What you have to understand” said Sir Rah “is that Trump is saying things about the economy and immigration straight out of the Nigel Farage spin doctor manual and around forty percent of Republicans are loving it’

“Surely you’re not suggesting” enquired His Lordship “that Nigel should be standing for US President”

“What I’m rather suggesting” said Sir Rah “is that Nigel is a much milder form of Trump and we should just be thankful that he believes the function of walls is to provide a demarcation between inside and out”

“Surely’ said His Lordship “a Trump could never happen in the Conservative Party”

‘I wouldn’t rule it out” said Sir Rah “because if David loses the EU referendum Boris could take over and morph from semi-bonkers to the fully-fledged model”

“So the choice appears to be” said the General “either stay in the EU and accept the end of English civilisation as we know it or leave and suffer civilisation according to Boris which is much the same thing”

“Perhaps if David loses the referendum” said His Lordship “I should step in as PM on an inter-regnum basis just to calm things down”

“Sorry” said the General “you can’t be PM from the Lords. It would make more sense if I led a temporary military takeover of government just to give Boris the chance to consult a psychiatrist and get a decent haircut”

“I can’t help feeling” said Sir Rah “that Trump would be a better option”

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About this Series
Located on the fashionable side of Pall Mall the Club is famous for counting some of the UK’s greatest political intellects among its members. Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera convene there regularly to create the brilliant insights which David relies on so much to keep the ship of state on course.

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