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Operating On A Budget

Operating On A Budget

Friday 19 May, 2017
In another spellbinding insight into Malcolm’s prime ministership Lucy examines whether the budget has any effect on anybody else besides Malcolm and ScoMo.
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In another spellbinding insight into Malcolm’s prime ministership Lucy examines whether the budget has any effect on anybody else besides Malcolm and ScoMo.

 “Tell me Mal” I enquired as we sipped lattes in his office “how do you think the budget went?”

“Stunningly well Luce” he replied “because I succeeded in nicking all Shorten’s economic policies and he’s not smart enough to nick mine”

“So what do you think he’ll do?” I asked

“He can either persuade Xenophon and Hinch to block everything in the Senate” replied Mal “or declare class warfare on anyone earning above $100,000”

“But don’t a lot of union members earn that much?” I asked

“Yes” responded Mal “but they’re workers not managers and they pay union dues so they’re in a different class as far as Shorten’s warfare is concerned”

“But if they earn enough money” I pointed out “they’ll still have to pay 49.5% tax if Shorten becomes PM”

“Even in class warfare” explained Malcolm “there’s the risk of collateral damage just like bosses in the building industry being called before the ABCC”

“So how much of the budget” I asked “do you think will get through the Senate?”

“Well I haven’t yet had the chance to talk to Xenophon personally” confided Malcolm “but I think he’ll be ok with the bank bashing and tax measures but it looks like I might have to move to Gonski III or even IX”

“Does Shorten actually understand economics” I enquired “or does he simply oppose everything you propose?”

“Well by definition” responded Malcolm “if he opposes my policies he can’t possibly understand anything about economics. All he understands is that managers earn more than union members and he thinks that is unfair”

“Do you think there’s a chance that he’s got a social conscience?” I asked

“Well of course not dear” responded Malcolm convincingly “he used to be the Secretary of the AWU”

“Do you think that Australia” I asked rather forlornly “will ever see another budget surplus?”

“I believe it’s entirely possible” responded Malcolm “but it would probably take a combination of an extreme right wing government and the Senate being shut down by an outbreak of the bubonic plague”

“I always look forward to the budget” I declared “because it’s such a catalyst for stirring things in Canberra”

“I know” agreed Malcolm “but the trouble is that for the stirring to produce anything palatable you have to put in so many sweeteners”

 

 

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About this Series
An occasional series featuring the First Lady’s account of her contributions to her husband’s political career and the fate of the nation.

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