Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

Opposing Forces

Opposing Forces

Friday 12 August, 2016
Bill, Ged and Dave discuss whether their all-out opposition to Malcolm should be adjusted in the unlikely event of him getting something right.
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The ACTU Our Brother Bills Keeper heading

“Look Bill” said Ged “now that the Herbert result is in and Malcolm only has an overall majority of one it’s time to turn up the heat”

“But I’ve already been making Malcolm sweat” claimed Bill

“What we’ve been considering” said Dave conspiratorially “is incapacitating a couple of Coalition MPs prior to a confidence motion by kicking them in the cobblers down a dark alley”

“That’s a bit extreme isn’t it?” queried Bill

“Nothing like as extreme” said Ged “as you stabbing Kevin

“We’ve got to bring on a veritable storm of opposition” said Ged “so if Malcolm so much as scratches himself we’ve got to question whether he’s got fleas”

“Well look” said Bill reasonably “I’m already opposing his budget, his ABCC legislation, the gay marriage plebiscite, I’m giving him the shits over Medicare and I haven’t even started yet on destroying his LGTBI policy”

“What the hell’s that?” asked Dave

“It’s like the Safe Schools Coalition for Schools only it’s for unions instead” explained Bill “designed to ensure they treat LGBTI members fairly”

“You can’t oppose that” said Ged “because it would look as though the union movement was politically incorrect”

“But you instructed me to unleash all-out uncompromising opposition to Malcolm regardless” explained Bill “and that’s exactly what I’m doing”

“I’ve never come across an LGBTI brother or sister suffering prejudicial treatment from a union” claimed Dave “and even if I had it would only have been a very isolated incident”

“You mean like the isolated instances of corruption” queried Bill “identified by the Royal Commission”

“Oh much more isolated than those” said Ged

“Ok then” said Bill resignedly “I won’t oppose Malcolm’s legislation but who will take responsibility for implementing the new measures among CFMEU members for example?”

“Don’t worry” replied Dave “I’ll have officials positioned on building sites to spot people coming out of the new closets”


About this Series
This series reveals the nature of the special relationship between the ACTU and Bill and in the event of him becoming Prime Minister how much power they’d be prepared to delegate to him.

View all articles in the The ACTU Our Brother Bills Keeper Series
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