Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

Out Of Reach

Out Of Reach

Friday 10 February, 2017
In this occasional series the First Lady reveals exclusively the peerless yet unobtrusive contributions she is making to the future direction of Australia.
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In this occasional series the First Lady reveals exclusively the peerless yet unobtrusive contributions she is making to the future direction of Australia.

 “Tell me Luce” said Malcolm earnestly as we were having a quiet evening at The Lodge last week “do you think I should start reaching out?”

“Why not” I responded “it’s about time you took a bit of exercise”

“No, no” exclaimed Malcolm “I mean reaching out to the forgotten people like Trump has done”

“Please refresh my memory” I urged “because I can’t seem to remember who exactly the forgotten people are”

“You know” explained Malcolm “the people whom the Labor Party forgot because they don’t belong to a union and we forgot because they’re from working families”

“Oh” I exclaimed “you mean John Howard’s battlers”

“Yes I suppose I do really” admitted Malcolm “and since then they’ve become Rudd’s rat–ckers, Gillard’s Last Blokes and Abbott’s abandoned. But the point is the forgotten people of America have become Trump cards so I thought there’s a chance they could help me take a few tricks here”

“That’s an intriguing thought Mal” I said pensively “but where would you reach out to? I never seem to come across any of them”

“Well” responded Mal “Pauline doesn’t seem to have any trouble contacting them”

“Oh I see” I exclaimed “you believe that if you’re as obnoxious as Trump or Pauline they will come”

“Well something like that” confirmed Mal

Finally I grasped what Mal was driving at and I must say I was quite shocked. I knew immediately that I had to be firm to prevent him going populist like Pauline.

“Look Mal” I said authoritatively “I’m afraid you have to accept that unlike Trump you’re seen as a politician and lately you’ve even started to act like one. Trump can get away with building walls, canning migration and consummate political incorrectness because he’s not a politician so people trust him. The folks aren’t going to trust someone like you to deliver that sort of stuff”

“But I need to take urgent action” insisted Mal “before Pauline, Cory or even Tony seizes the opportunity and I’m left holding the political baby like Hillary and Jeb Bush. Who could I recruit to do the job on my behalf? I need someone who is not afraid of abusing prime ministers, politicians and the politically correct and who has a proven record of rabble rousing round Canberra”

“Peta Credlin perhaps” I suggested

 

 

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About this Series
An occasional series featuring the First Lady’s account of her contributions to her husband’s political career and the fate of the nation.

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