Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

Power Play

Power Play

Friday 20 May, 2016
Bill discusses with Ged and Dave whether in the event of a hung parliament he should follow Julia’s example and sell his soul to the Greens.
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The ACTU Our Brother Bills Keeper heading

“Now look Bill” said Ged “I hear that in the event of a hung parliament you’re saying that you wouldn’t do a deal with the Greens”

“Well Julia made such a pig’s ear of her alliance with Bob Brown” asserted Bill “that it’s a political no-no. If I so much as hinted that I’d deal with the Greens Malcolm would have my arse as a hunting trophy”

“But in the event of a hung parliament” said Dave “when an alliance with the Greens would give you the chance to become PM what would you do?”

“Well” said Bill reflectively “I’d dwell on the fact that if I reneged on my undertaking not to consider an alliance under any circumstances it would be absolutely contrary to my unshakeable principles of probity and integrity and then I’d seize the opportunity like a shot”

“I’m very relieved to hear that Bill” said Ged “because I wasn’t quite sure whether you understood that it is no more incumbent on you to keep election promises as PM than it is as opposition leader”

“I have to be careful though” warned Bill ‘because I don’t want my brilliant career as PM to be terminated by the turpitude of faceless men and a stabbing”

“Look Bill” said Dave “you’ve got to see things from our point of view. We’re quite keen on the Greens despite their compulsion to increase electricity prices and throw miners out of work because at least they’re in favour of treating the CFMEU like normal people”

“But they’re trying to nick Albo’s seat” warned Bill

“What” said Ged angrily “that’s absolutely outrageous. How dare those scavenging little sleazebags presume to knock off an icon of our movement”

“And the Coalition are threatening to preference the Greens in some seats” explained Bill “just to keep us on the outer”

“Why can’t other political parties show such profundity of probity as Labor?” asked Dave “The Coalition are no better than the grotbag Greens. Ok they’ve asked for it we’re declaring war”

“Then what happens if there’s a hung parliament?” asked Bill

“Treat the Greens like Julia treated the public” said Ged “do a deal with them to get the PM’s gig and then once you’re in The Lodge renege on it”


About this Series
This series reveals the nature of the special relationship between the ACTU and Bill and in the event of him becoming Prime Minister how much power they’d be prepared to delegate to him.

View all articles in the The ACTU Our Brother Bills Keeper Series
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