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The Pudding Club Pontifications

Preparing To Split

Preparing To Split

Friday 14 October, 2016
Pudding Club members discuss prospects for Brexiting and whether Brussels and Westminster can survive the split without getting stitched up. Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera lunched last week on a particularly delectable Lobster Mornay accompanied by a Chablis Grand Cru 2014 flown in specially from Paris by the chef. “I say” said […]
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The Pudding Club section Friday Mash.com

Pudding Club members discuss prospects for Brexiting and whether Brussels and Westminster can survive the split without getting stitched up.

Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera lunched last week on a particularly delectable Lobster Mornay accompanied by a Chablis Grand Cru 2014 flown in specially from Paris by the chef.

“I say” said His Lordship “the pound has dropped to its lowest level in thirty-one years”

“What splendid news” remarked the General “it means the country will now be flooded with tourists rather than refugees”

“On the other hand” commented Sir Rah “the goods and services we import will become more expensive so the cost of living will go up”

“That’s another reason for Brexiting” claimed the General “we should be free to buy from the cheapest global source and not feel obliged to deal with those continental cretins”

“I see Theresa is going to submit Article 50”observed His Lordship “in the first quarter of 2017”

“What an absolutely wondrous example of womanhood” declared the General “when she says ‘Brexit means Brexit’ she means it”

“Article 50” warned Sir Rah “will plunge this country into years of uncertainty”

“It will plunge the euro bureau in Brussels” chortled the General “into being up to their arses in alligators. There won’t be a single EU member that isn’t either baling out or being bailed out”

“It’s been reported” announced Sir Rah “that Brexit will cause more job losses in the EU than in the UK”
“That’s probably because of all the thousands of bureaucrats in Brussels they’ll have to make redundant” remarked His Lordship

“That’s most unlikely” opined the General “because they’ll all be needed to work on Frexit, Grexit, Gerexit and Itexit as well as Brexit”

“It was intriguing that Diane James resigned as leader of UKIP” remarked His Lordship “after only eighteen days”

“She obviously realised” observed Sir Rah “that the party’s post-Brexit use-by date is only two years away”

“On the contrary” argued the General “UKIP’s work will never be done. Their next big challenge in preserving the UK’s independence is to prevent Scotland becoming independent”

“Don’t you find that assertion” queried Sir Rah “to be rather a contradiction in terms?”

“On the contrary” replied the General “if Scotland gained independence from an independent country where would it all end up? Next thing the independents at Westminster would be demanding a separate parliament”

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About this Series
Located on the fashionable side of Pall Mall the Club is famous for counting some of the UK’s greatest political intellects among its members. Lord Noes, General Alarm and Sir Rah Sera convene there regularly to create the brilliant insights which David relies on so much to keep the ship of state on course.

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