Indiana Joe Crusades

“We absolutely killed them with that budget” said Joe “If Shorten and Bowen had any sense they’d stand back in awe and wonder and wave it through the Senate”

“Let’s not get carried away” said Miss Triss “the opposition are so keen to rissole you and Tony they’re bound to get in a lather about something”

“Like what?” asked Joe

“Like the fact you’ve given up on finding the Holy Grail of a Budget Surplus” replied Miss Triss

“Let’s get serious” said Joe “if the Labor Party criticise me for that it would be like Eddie Obeid blaming Mike Baird for the recent high turnover rate of NSW premiers”

“Look Joe” said Miss Triss “I know you’re one of the good guys but what you have to understand is that Shorten, Plibersek and Bowen are all ruthless ratbags who are not going to allow a trifling thing like a half decent budget to stop them portraying you and Tony as a couple of surplus squibbers who wouldn’t know a fair budget even if it raised Gina Rinehart’s tax rate to 100%”

Just then Tony popped in.

“Oh hi Tony” said Joe “you must be delighted that the budget was such a success in the polls”

“That’s exactly what I just said on the ABC” responded Tony “I thought Scott Morrison did an absolutely splendid job”

“Hang on a minute” exclaimed Joe “it was my budget, I put it all together”

“I know” said Tony “that’s why I’m determined that you should cop all the blame. Women are pissed off because we’re forcing them back to work instead of allowing them to double dip into paid parental leave and big business is pissed off because they’re going to pay a lot more tax than small business which in five years’ time could reduce them to small business as well”

“Well don’t blame me for dudding double dipping” said Joe “that’s all Scott’s fault. And it’s also Scott’s fault that women who are susceptible to nervous breakdowns through being at home all day with feral children won’t be able to afford childcare”

“Look Joe” said Tony “if you don’t want to end up sitting on the backbench next to me listening to Scott deliver the next budget get your arse down to the Senate and persuade that unrepresentative swill not to cause an unrepresentative spill”

“May I make a suggestion?” asked Miss Triss

“No” said Tony “hold onto it till next year in the hope it can help Joe get the budget right at the third time of trying”

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