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Prime Ministerial Prospects

Prime Ministerial Prospects

Friday 17 February, 2017
Pauline talks to John Howard about her Prime Ministerial prospects and finds it’s a one-way conversation.
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Pauline talks to John Howard about her Prime Ministerial prospects and finds it’s a one-way conversation.

 “We’ve had a fantastic jump in the polls” announced James

“I’m not surprised” commented Pauline “Malcolm doesn’t seem to know whether he’s a patrician or a politician and Bill is sounding like he’s lost his latest spin-sheet from the ACTU”

“The way things are going” advised James “you should start preparing to become PM”

“Well I think I’m pretty up to speed” claimed Pauline “apart from needing a cabinet and a First Bloke”

“I could step in at a pinch as First Bloke” offered James “and Jacqui, Nick and Cory would be falling over themselves to get a ministerial gig”

“What about the Brick With Eyes?” asked Pauline

“I think Trump has recruited him as a lookout in his wall” explained James “Look Pauline we also need to transform your public image to something more Prime Ministerial than a fish and chip shop proprietor. I recommend you get some mentoring from John Howard”

Pauline immediately removed her jet pack from the hook on the door, strapped it on, lit the rocket fuse and whooshed off towards the Howard household on Sydney’s North Shore.

“Oh hi Pauline” greeted John as she jetted in through his study window “is this a planned visit or a crash landing?”

“I’ve come to consult you” announced Pauline “on how to look like a Prime Minister”

“Why” asked John “are you going to a fancy dress party?”

“The way the polls are trending” said Pauline earnestly “I could be PM after the next election”

“Forget it Pauline” responded John decisively “you’ve got as much chance of becoming PM at the next election as Mark Latham and Peter Slipper”

“Trump believes I’m destined for greatness” claimed Pauline

“He also believes that America is destined for greatness under him” asserted John “and frankly I think if anything you’re a better chance”

“There’s every possibility I could be drafted in as premier of Queensland after the state election this year” revealed Pauline

“Well if you ran the state like a fish and chip shop” opined John “it would be a marked improvement on AnnaPalaszczuk”

“That’s encouraging” exclaimed Pauline “have you got any final piece of wisdom for me before I jet off?”

“Yes” affirmed John “please leave through the same window you used for your arrival”

 

 

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