Offering a uniquely Australian perspective on the US Presidential election

Pushing The Boundaries

Pushing The Boundaries

Friday 24 March, 2017
Trump and his team discuss the need to redraw the world’s continental boundaries and in particular to make the Middle East a new continent because it would be much easier to ban immigration from there rather than a selection of individual countries.
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Trump and his team discuss the need to redraw the world’s continental boundaries and in particular to make the Middle East a new continent because it would be much easier to ban immigration from there rather than a selection of individual countries.

“Tell me Rex” said Trump “is the Middle East in Europe, Africa or Asia?”

“Good question” responded Rex “I think it’s in all three but I haven’t been in the job long enough to comprehend complex issues like that so I’ll check it out with the guys at the Department of State who’ve been around a lot longer”

“I’ve been thinking” announced Trump surprisingly “that despite my isolationist approach to foreign affairs I need to take more of an interest in these sorts of issues”

“Great idea” chipped in Reince “becausethey open up so many more topics of mutual interest to chat about with other heads of government like Angela”

“It’s all very confusing” declared Trump “because Russia seems to be in two continents and so does Turkey. I’m absolutely determined to keep America one hundred percent American so that’s why I’m preventing it becoming part of the Middle East”

“Or South America” added Reince

“Continental boundaries are well past their use-by date” opined Trump “and can only lead to even greater confusion. Now Rex how certain are you that the Middle East isn’t a continent?”

“I’m eighty percent sure” affirmed Rex “but I have to admit that the whole thing’s a bit of a dog’s breakfast”

“Woof” agreed Mad Dog “woof woofwoof”

“I’m going to redraw all the world’s continental boundaries” announced Trump authoritatively “because it’s about time someone sorted out the mess”

“That’s inspired thinking” pronounced Reince “it’s ridiculous that all those Hispanics are on the same continent as us because it gives them the false impression they can just wander around all over it as they please”

“It’s crazy that the Middle East isn’t a continent” said Trump decisively “because people refer to it far more often than Asia and all the rest”

“I think it would be preferable if we took things one step further” suggested Rex “and declared it to be on another planet”

“That reminds me” exclaimed Trump “after the UK leaves Europe we should give them a chance to become part of America so long as Scotland Brexits as well and doesn’t leave my golf courses in Europe”

“How do we go about changing continental boundaries?” asked Reince

“I’ll issue an executive order next week” replied Trump

 

 

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